Rah Times

I went searching for love. When I thought I had it I was extremely excited, But became gravely disappointed. It turned into all I was afraid of. It appeared to be incapable of. Returning or showing any affection for me. It did not seem to exist among the men, I wanted to love me or was attracted to. It was my own affection Deflecting on those horrible beings, That first caused joy to arise with me. Then from awareness I became guarded. Even the precise one I was in search of. Believed was apart of me was not. How could I have been so wrong? Why did I not listen except I felt, They appeared to have welcomed me, As though, they were also interested, Not only in me but also my wellbeing. Then in sickness, the truth became evident. Sadly, I found that none of it was true. It devastated me, and crushed my spirit. I had allowed those demons to deceive me. Wondered why things had to go that far, Before I learned I believed untruth. Never again will I trust those devi...

She is delightfully romantic! And he, dashingly charismatic! The pair that fits like a hand in a glove. The lovely lady is adorned With her most precious possession. The silkiest of skin that is not in need of anything, Merely the arms of her beloved; Draped by her most ardent desire. The soft flow of the soothing melody of satisfaction. The delight that glows so freely from her face. For at last, she is in a serene place where she can rest.

Dare they speak,criticize! Who or what gave them voice? Their interest, disbelief, Or the talk of the day. Should I insist! Have I not said what was required? Contributed all that was necessary! Why force love on them? Give away a precious gem! They fail to see worth. Surely, they deserved Such love and knowledge. I shared, and they complained.

By the end, of the day, I still love. My concern rests, as if pushed aside. My spirit still burns with longings, For resolution, my heart desire, Is still blazing within my chest, For the things, I am zealous about, Desire to move beyond, complete, Capture and never let go of, Is all remarkably a live as I breathe. My disappointments and my pride At times stifles me but if I could Get pass the things that bind me, One would know the truth, and see my love.

Every marriage has it ups and downs, highs and lows. Oddly enough because I had taken on a monstrous of a task, the things that damage mine had quite a bit to do with that. Whatever caused my heart to become broken were the things that impacted my children’s future. It was enough that I had to battle society to do the right thing. It was horrendous that I had moments where I was engaged in battle with my spouse for the exact reason. I can recall an instant when a star war movie was premièring in May 1999. It was on the same day as my daughter's preschool graduation. As I sought my husband’s support to attend the graduation, he defiantly told me, our daughter would have many more significant miles stones. At those moments, he would be there, but that graduating from preschool was not one of them. He added that it was not every day, however, that a Star War movie opens, so that was what he chose to attend. Even at that early age that particular child had struggles. I did not view t...

I wrote to you today, then discarded it. I mentioned a few new things. Perhaps I did not repeat anything. I talked about the things I had seen. Gave details of a particular scene. One in which you were fighting with me. I expressed my thoughts to you. My wonderings of what we fought about. I did say I did not want to write to you again. Thought about the future, my passion and propensity. My wanting to be loved, my conclusion, and confusion. Remembered the girl, I once was. What she would have done. Momentarily she would have looked then calmly walked away. I liked that kind of attitude, I wish I was still like that.

I was invited, but I will not attend the party. I had become too focus on my struggles. Sacrificing and pushing aside desire, Had become all too familiar and difficult. When one was in his own element He is inclined to inflict me for the purpose, Of painting him as being superior or better. Simply to lather in his own glory. I cringe at the thought, had endured too much of that. Considered the importance of honoring another. But no one knows of the things I endure. It is none other than for those things, I refrain.