Rah Times

I have not written anything lately not because there is nothing to write about because there is a whole lot going on. The one thing I know from having lived this life is that as difficult as things may sometimes appear  that joy comes with the morning. By this I mean that my current troubles are only for a season. I know this may not be true in all of our life and it certainly does not seem true in mine either. For the most part it seem as one challenge ends a new one begins. I just know in my heart that I need to look up. There is no night that does not have a morning. Right about now I wish I had taken the easy path in life. The path where my life would have been less complicated. I invested a 110% of myself in my children. Just yesterday someone told me that God does not want for any of us to have idols. She said this because she felt that I put my children first and above all including myself. I put them out there and talk about how well they are doing. I generally do not rev...

As a child I was a very obedient and respectful therefore things that burden me as a parent were not a concern for my parents. They however would not accept anything less especially my father. I was very shy, quiet and indifferent to people and things that did not interest me. Even when provoked it was not always easy getting a reaction out of me. At my wedding that was one of my virtues my sister bragged about. She said, “My sister usually says what she has to say and when she is finished she is done. She then puts whatever it is behind her and moves on.” She was telling the truth. Well on the surface at least I did not appear to hold any grudges. I say so because today I am far removed from that person especially with my family. I really do expect more from my offspring, than I do others. The dilemma is I find myself harping on the same issues over and over to the point where I find it distressing. Not being able to move away from the same difficulties is tiresome. Today’s yout...

Some convictions I have are based on my beliefs, and others are based on my fears. While some of my fears are unfounded others can be attributed to my values and passions. I know that there are many who does not ascribe to the things I hold to. What I say and do may be seen as ridiculous to some, on the other hand, there are those who embrace my principles and choices. I wanted to, and I still sometimes try to make a difference in other people's life. With that while in the work force, I chose to work where I thought I would most fullfill my desires. When choosing my mate I also gave thought as to whether the person would support me with this. As a young woman, I had an unusually idealistic view of the world. I know there were broken hurting people. I did not realize that people disliked and intentionally hurt others for no other reason other than selfishness. At times, their actions were driven by suspicion or because of their viewpoint or the things they were taught. Oddly enou...

It could be that my age has caught up with me because today I found myself struggling with fatigue. I cannot attribute it to my family because they are away at summer camp. I have been taking an exercise class every morning at 8am. I took a similar class about ten years ago and I was definitely not as tired as I am. During the school year, we spend an enormous amount of time picking up and dropping our children off. This was not an issue when they were younger. I would enroll them all in the same activity. Despite all being exposed to  the same extra-curricular activity for most of their life, they developed different interests. I am thankful they did not end up having a group mentality, but developed into individuals. I imagine it would be a lot easier to master mothering one type of personality. Instead I get to experience what it is to mother a child that is interested in sports, music, social things and the academically minded child. This also means that someti...

I spent countless hours sitting on the side lines watching and waiting. There were times when I took advantage of being at a track and walked. Other times, I would read or simply enjoyed being in the company of other adults. The difference between mothering and any job is that mothering is a 24/7 job. Most sports that my children were involved in required some kind of parental participation. Whether or not I was actively involved I preferred to stay and watch to see how my children were doing. This way I also learned a thing or two about the sport. On days they were not practicing or competing, I helped them practice. When they were involved in track I would take them to the track and ran with them. This was mostly during their elementary school years. Now that they are teenagers, I do not even attempt to compete with them. Oddly enough one of my teenaged daughters asked me why I stopped running with them. The question caught me by surprise. This girl holds the shock put record...

A thing of beauty, a valuable person, what can I say to such a one without devaluing myself? How must I react, behave when I am in her presence? Is that not what you would say to yourself if you recognized that you were in the presence of one who society highly esteems? The real question is, would you know how to recognize such a person? It probably would not be difficult at all. How about a person who God esteems? Would it be outward appearance that would shed light on that person’s value? Once as my family and I walked the cat-walk in Glenwood New Mexico, I spotted a shiny object in the river. As I bent down to pick it up, my ten year old said to me," Gold does not look like gold." If even a ten year old boy knows this, why is it that as adults we forget? I say we forget because the same analogy can be attributed to humans. If we are not constantly in the news, our worth is not obvious to the human eyes. Gold in its natural state does not shine. If all we saw each other ...