Had we met, I would have displayed love towards you!
Its been a while since I've written anything other than poetry in my blog. It is about 1:34 a.m. and I should be asleep but I'm restless. On Tuesday of next week, I get scoped to see the effects autoimmune disease has on my digestive tract. It was the urge to cough that awoke me. My titer for Systemic Lupus was hardly positive but the disease seems further along than my blood test shows.
My body is super tired and its probably because I've not been getting a lot of sleep. I went to bed at 10p.m. but was awaken by that coughing.
Not only my digestive tract is affected but also my thoughts. I've moments of brain fog where the simplest of task is actually quite difficult. My short term memory seems to be greatly impacted. That is actually quite bothersome.
There are many things from my past that I would rather forget, but how I feel and what I intend to say, I am more inclined to not remember, as opposed to the distasteful things in life.
I can say this much though, when people are heartless or lacking in human compassion, the way they behave towards you when you are in great health does not change when your ill.
As my disease progressed knowing who truly loved me in life became relevant. I want to spend my wakeful moments with those I truly love and those who loves me. Sadly, I've concluded that as many who claimed to love, that very few people truly do. It was not that I was unlovable but some seem incapable of kindness, or knowing how to love.
I started writing my last poetry collection after having breast surgery in 2011 and that was difficult. Though auto-immune disease seemed to plagued me since my teen years, it went undiagnosed. According to the literature one can live a long life with treatment. I am now 53 and was diagnosed in April 2016, after the disease left it's mark on me.
I statured my blog with poetic expression to unveil some hurt, but I could never reveal my true ordeal. "The Cry of Our Children," my latest poetic collection was meant as a gift to heal a hurting world and for my suppressed voice to be heard. Many has read my poems on my blog but few as purchased the book. I supposed a gift should not be sold or bought at a price although it resulted from illness.
I was able to put my thoughts together and documented my journey into Lupus. This is that story
I unlocked the doors of love
For to gaze in his eyes.
A woman on a hunt to
Be swept away and to be mesmerized,
desiring a love that was gentle and kind,
the search took many twists and turns
opened and closed many corridors,
Was greeted by disrespect and pity but made
Buy my ebook by selecting this link
Get it in paper back here
My body is super tired and its probably because I've not been getting a lot of sleep. I went to bed at 10p.m. but was awaken by that coughing.
Not only my digestive tract is affected but also my thoughts. I've moments of brain fog where the simplest of task is actually quite difficult. My short term memory seems to be greatly impacted. That is actually quite bothersome.
There are many things from my past that I would rather forget, but how I feel and what I intend to say, I am more inclined to not remember, as opposed to the distasteful things in life.
I can say this much though, when people are heartless or lacking in human compassion, the way they behave towards you when you are in great health does not change when your ill.
As my disease progressed knowing who truly loved me in life became relevant. I want to spend my wakeful moments with those I truly love and those who loves me. Sadly, I've concluded that as many who claimed to love, that very few people truly do. It was not that I was unlovable but some seem incapable of kindness, or knowing how to love.
I started writing my last poetry collection after having breast surgery in 2011 and that was difficult. Though auto-immune disease seemed to plagued me since my teen years, it went undiagnosed. According to the literature one can live a long life with treatment. I am now 53 and was diagnosed in April 2016, after the disease left it's mark on me.
I statured my blog with poetic expression to unveil some hurt, but I could never reveal my true ordeal. "The Cry of Our Children," my latest poetic collection was meant as a gift to heal a hurting world and for my suppressed voice to be heard. Many has read my poems on my blog but few as purchased the book. I supposed a gift should not be sold or bought at a price although it resulted from illness.
I was able to put my thoughts together and documented my journey into Lupus. This is that story
I unlocked the doors of love
For to gaze in his eyes.
A woman on a hunt to
Be swept away and to be mesmerized,
desiring a love that was gentle and kind,
the search took many twists and turns
opened and closed many corridors,
Was greeted by disrespect and pity but made
The most important discovery.
What others could not give or
deliver,
overflowed within me.
The love I willing gave, furnished what I needed.
overflowed within me.
The love I willing gave, furnished what I needed.
Get it in paper back here
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