Rah Times

After I migrated to the United States in my late teen years, the holiday season became very difficult for me. It was not until I had children fourteen years later that the holidays became easier. One of the joys of having seven children is that their excitement and nonchalant attitude can sometimes be contagious. They find pleasure at times with the most insignificant things. As toddlers they would gravitate more towards the pots and pans than their own toys. As teens and school-aged children they all want the most expensive gadgets but tend to use one and disregard the others. In my family that is truer of the boys than the girls. My children seem to get more enjoyment out of opening their many gifts on Christmas morning than actually playing with them the rest of the year. I later realized, though, that when some children have a large selection of toys this can confuse them. The end result is that it makes it very difficult for them to be able to make a choice. I know this may not ...

My life is more and more like a juggling act at this time than it has ever been in previous years. The difference now is that I am struggling to be all things to my children and to keep every aspect of my life afloat. In the midst of a crisis I tend to put all my energies into taking care of the chore at hand and tend to drop the ball on the none crisis issues. It was not an easy task meeting the needs of seven children. It was considerably much more challenging because I had special needs children as part of the mix. If the goal was simply to care for the children without providing them a resolution to their difficulties, then yes this would not have been as trying for me as it has been. What made it doubly difficult was when the children were younger my husband was not available to give me a hand as would have been ideal. I had a very faithful husband who was a good provider. On occasion he would take the children to their various after school programs but I was the main careta...

Life constantly changes from day to day and there is no day that is like the day before. It is a lot easier to do nothing and to give up and be over come by defeat but what joy is there in that? I have had to face numerous challenges as a result of the choices I made in life. They were courageous, foolish noble choices and yes my reward has been bitter sweet. Below is an article I wrote several years ago concerning one of the many hurdles I encountered while caring for my children.  In the middle of those challenges, I never fore saw  the possibility that we would have overcome some of those struggles. The idea that the time would come where this child would be applying for an athletic scholarship at that point was inconceivable to me . At the end of this blog there is a link to a video. The purpose of the video is to demonstrate her performance to the schools she is interested in attending. For us to have gotten to this moment it w...

Freedom and justice is for all those who were born free. Free from alcohol and crack or what ever the addicted poison of the day was at the time their brain was being developed. If you were ever a victim of this kind of imprisonment and the authorities stepped in and rescued you, freedom will temporarily be yours especially if you get adopted into a middle-class home. You will then be free from hunger, homelessness and you may momentarily feel safe and the fear of being left alone as a child you may never know. I can attest that this is a fact because this is my daughter's story, but not only hers, it is mine also. In my heart I believe people become addicted to drugs and alcohol as a result of untreated mental illness. In some cases it is as a result of early childhood trauma. Drugs and alcohol are sometimes used to numb emotional pain. Sometimes individuals become so engrossed in their own pain they become oblivious to the fact that they too are now inflicting pain. This i...

When I am down or deeply troubled, I am filled with thoughts and ideas. It was been a long time since I last wrote and bear myself for the world. I have been writing but for my eyes only. I was so overwhelmed by hurt and disappointment that I stopped. In my heart I even carried feelings of shame which resulted in my harbouring a whole set of other emotions. Yet it was my suspicions that lead me to start this series of writings. When my worse fears were confirmed, I could not skillfully deal with it. Yet of all people I should know life is not perfect and that it can sometimes be more difficult for some than it is for others. I also know how difficult it is to stay positive when your hopes and dreams seem unattainable. At this time I am strictly writing  about my disappointments in the realm of parenting. Although I have also had my share of disappointments in regard to personal and romantic aspiration and in accomplishing my professional goals. Even the thi...

I have not written anything lately not because there is nothing to write about because there is a whole lot going on. The one thing I know from having lived this life is that as difficult as things may sometimes appear  that joy comes with the morning. By this I mean that my current troubles are only for a season. I know this may not be true in all of our life and it certainly does not seem true in mine either. For the most part it seem as one challenge ends a new one begins. I just know in my heart that I need to look up. There is no night that does not have a morning. Right about now I wish I had taken the easy path in life. The path where my life would have been less complicated. I invested a 110% of myself in my children. Just yesterday someone told me that God does not want for any of us to have idols. She said this because she felt that I put my children first and above all including myself. I put them out there and talk about how well they are doing. I generally do not rev...

As a child I was a very obedient and respectful therefore things that burden me as a parent were not a concern for my parents. They however would not accept anything less especially my father. I was very shy, quiet and indifferent to people and things that did not interest me. Even when provoked it was not always easy getting a reaction out of me. At my wedding that was one of my virtues my sister bragged about. She said, “My sister usually says what she has to say and when she is finished she is done. She then puts whatever it is behind her and moves on.” She was telling the truth. Well on the surface at least I did not appear to hold any grudges. I say so because today I am far removed from that person especially with my family. I really do expect more from my offspring, than I do others. The dilemma is I find myself harping on the same issues over and over to the point where I find it distressing. Not being able to move away from the same difficulties is tiresome. Today’s yout...