Rah Times

Be at peace and motionless, my darling, For I will make haste and go to you. I reassure you, my yearning is for none other And belongs to only you. It is a lot higher than Mount Everest. It reaches farther than the east from the west. Is a lot hotter than any volcanic eruption. As to my love and compassion, not even I Can accurately describe it. All that is required of you is to be reassured That you are and will be most relevant to me.

Why do you say, you love me? Then ignore my desperate pleas. My love, don't you know It is for you, my heart beats. I hurt, I scream, I'm alone, You respond as though, My heart lied, when it was you. My love, I cried out to you, You responded that you hated me! That was what your actions told me. Why would my heart deceive me? Why would my mind play tricks on me? Why do you not help, or comfort me? I lie in the ashes of my continuing sorrow. I wallow in pain caused by your p oignant cruelty. I cried because I do not want to look back, Or do I care to ever turn my face towards you. My love is gone but my tears will forever remain

There is no perfect person, But you are the one for me. No one I want to tie myself to Yet, it is you that completes me. We may be as different As night and day can be But you are the best thing That has happened to me. Winter days as cold As they at times can be Would not affect me If you are there with me. My love, I am delighted That I found you. For you are undeniably, The one I'd always chose.

I smile at the thought of you. The way you light up a room. Wanted to give my best to you, For our friendship to continue. I preferred you to everyone. Wish you were my companion. And as I grew fond of you I wanted to tell you. If, I could be where I wanted to. I’d always choose to be with you. Not to run after you but to love you. And for you to be the way, I remembered. Pleasant and kind was you to me. Never before or after was any like that to me. I wish you had chosen to partner with me And always be the way, I remembered.

If my vision faded Along with all my memories of you. I would wish for it to be known That my artistic heart wrote That it yearned,  passionately Belonged to only you. As conflicted as I was My feelings aroused from Ideas, which originated Long before my pen ascribed Words and expressions From past interaction. Were simply my recollection of affection, Not current interaction or accurately recalled expression, Nonetheless they generated from the nugget planted Many years ago when we first met; Yet, still lingers as fun affection and a burning desire for you.

As if fake designer bags and cubic zirconia’s Could fool and flatter anyone. He hangs around me as though, He was meant to be the one. He smiled and encouraged me. I was convinced, he was a gentleman. Yet, this was all done without consideration, He had already selected someone. I did not need a phony person, Someone who was out for self satisfaction. I needed a thoughtful companion. One who was loaded with compassion. The art of loving was not so complicated. Difficult for me to accept or return it. All I needed was a person who had no other woman, Was not a phony like fake jewelry or designer bags

Goodbye, I said, A thousand times. Then turn around To say something else. Thought I needed to. I was not planning To return to him again. I was seeking after My heart desire And all I wish was for him To be aware of that and so much more. I made that error once before Of not explaining, many years ago. I did not get another chance, With that I thought it pertinent to express All that I in that moment felt, he should know. So, there I was repeating myself, Saying goodbye and truly meaning it. He appeared so darn unimpressed. The last person, I failed to warn or helped, died. I vowed never to replicate that mistake again. The situation was not exactly the same as then. For this was my second try, my reason for returning, To state my intent, circumstance of my revisiting, Cause for departing and plans of not returning. He did not stir, I knew, I did not convince him. That anything I said was true, or occurring. It appeared as if my absence did not and ...

Fearing my somewhat of a difficult situation Had gotten out of hand, I panicked. Sorrow and distress became my only companion. Individuals that I believed once cared and loved me I realized were nothing more than my enemy. Overwhelmed with thoughts that I would foolishly reconcile With a self consumed idiot made my situation seem hopeless. I wanted to know the truth, when I finally did, I could not deal with it. How could I for a moment go on lying to myself and trust their decision Was for my benefit, or that I was ignored out of love, when that devastated me? I knew extremely well the results of partnering with another who has no regard for me. With that, this was a particularly relevant but difficult lesson, I needed to know this. I certainly would not want ever to believe in my heart or deceive myself again, by feeling that one so extremely heartless, who does not love me, do. There were a few that stood with me and those that would have, I also know them. In my m...

Investing my heart, mind and twenty years In marriage, family, things I believed in, Was grueling hard work, but done out of love For seven wonderful reasons. Being mindful of my children’s struggles Cause me to continue when I did not want to. I kept at it in spite of feeling like caving in. Not for a moment did I believe that My choices, actions would impair me, And it certainly was not that, which caused it. Simply the lack of effort, I perceive The failure of my mate to come along side me, To empathize, render a therapeutic helping hand Work harmoniously together on comprehending Acquire a heart for the precious little souls. We are placed in charged of. In order to enable them to heal and their tidal wave Of misunderstood emotions, which at times, Contributed to their unacceptable behaviors, And my loss of trust in our relationship.

Wish I knew my own story. I would have written it! Not until I was consumed, was I aware of it. As sketchy as it was I would have truthfully protrayed it, Given explicit details, especially of all the painful things. Although, in so doing I would have changed many views. Whom I am has changed, all I wanted to be, did and expressed. My concerns, things that devastated others, deeply affected me. For the sake of all who placed hope and trusted us I stopped believing, caring and have given up. Thought we were above all this, but that is not so! I realize we are, in fact, the original trend setters. Even now, I wish I was not involved in this, for the sake of many. I wonder why would any chose to offend, hurt the innocent, Others with similiar features, struggles similiar to mine. Why were these things not considered, simply uncared for? With that, I hold back, I grieve. Besides who would believe this?

From the day I met her, I loved her. Yet I did nothing to keep her Her beautiful smile caught my eye. I was sure, I loved and wanted her. Now she’s gone, and I'm sure! She will never look my way again For I told her, I had no need for her. While in my heart, I loved and wanted her. I was never kind or did I ever assist her. Pretending I did not love but hated her. I turned my back and did not look at her. While in my heart, I loved and wanted her. I keep hearing her cries and goodbyes. As I did not choose her as my wife. It would have been too stressful for her. And in my heart, I loved and wanted her.

Don’t ever be too busy to lend a hand. Or to stand with a friend. Display that you do understand. That you love, and will be there for them. For one day, you could be the one That sincerely need and wish for a friend. Whether you become frail and sick And in need assistance or a helping hand. For then what would be your expectation, Or my reason to extend mercy or pity you? If I am fully aware of how unkind you were. That your actions were all driven by self love. And that I viewed all you did as filthy rags, Because of what motivated you to ever take action.

I recognized your differences Your desire, wishes, The choices you’ve made. I sympathize with your sorrow. I saw you, but did not want to believe What I did not understand. I’ve no plans to make haste To stand beside you. Although, I now comprehend your struggle. I do not want to aid you. Find those that loved you, or are apart of you. Thought I was, but I realized that was not so. Why would I inflict another without proof? It is simply better for me to turn away. I am not interested in this so, please, move on. Perhaps you’ll find another to lend a hand. I sincerely do not want to be involved. Whatever your fight is, I wish you well. I hope that you over come, in spite of everything. I'm refraining, not wanting to be apart of this.