Love Endures The Test Of Time
In the pursuit of romantic interest if the other party does not respond or give some sort of indication of being interested, sometimes the best course of action is to turn away. Giving up does not necessarily mean that one's desire has faded. It may simply be an indication of accepting that the other person is not interested. Oddly enough in parenting one of my very determined beautiful daughters, I feel as if I am pursuing a child who has no interest in my philosophy or life choices. The most difficult part of this is that I lose more than a potential love if I sit back and do nothing. In this case, I would lose a child. It is a whole lot easier to walk away from a disinterested potential mate than it is from a child. I can bury my head in the sand and go on as if all is well but that will not change the facts.
Several days ago, my daughter took a cell phone belonging to her math tutor. After adamantly denying that she had taken the phone, she finally confessed. We returned the phone and I apologized. She did not say a word but only had this grim look on her face. When we got back home she said she wanted to talk to her father and me about her actions.
She claimed she was tired of embarrassing herself and us and because of this wanted for us to allow her to go live on her own. We asked her if she was tired of embarrassing herself, why not stop? She hanged her head and shrugged her shoulders.
“Where are you going to live,” we asked her?
“In an apartment,” she replied.
“How are you going to pay rent?” Again she raised her shoulders then said.
“I will move in with a friend. She is twenty-eight and her parents will pay the rent.”
“So, your twenty-eight year old friend’s parents will maintain you?” She did not respond but kept looking down. So my husband said to her.
“If you have so much difficulty living with us, what is going to be different if you are living on your own?”
“Well I feel that I am doing these things because I want to be independent.”
“So you are claiming that all this is to get us to send you away?”
“Not forever, I feel that I have things too easy. Perhaps if I had to work then I will stop.”
In my heart I felt that, then she would come up with yet another excuse and yet another. At first it was the lost of not being with her biological mother and then wanting a relationship with her older biological siblings. The one thing that is very obvious is that she is looking for something more than I am giving to her.
Personally I have never wish or prayed for patience, for it is said that fortitude comes from tribulations. I am not a lover of trouble or difficulty and the older I become the less I want to be plagued with trials. Yet in my present circumstances and I know it is more from a lack of options that I find myself exercising a lot of self control. The main objective is for my daughter to realize that I will always love her no matter what. Her present behaviors have certainly grieved me. I woke up this morning telling myself, that love is enduring and kind so although I have no desire to be patient, love is. If I say I love her then I need to be serene with her. A very difficult task because it is not easy watching someone you love self destruct.
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Several days ago, my daughter took a cell phone belonging to her math tutor. After adamantly denying that she had taken the phone, she finally confessed. We returned the phone and I apologized. She did not say a word but only had this grim look on her face. When we got back home she said she wanted to talk to her father and me about her actions.
She claimed she was tired of embarrassing herself and us and because of this wanted for us to allow her to go live on her own. We asked her if she was tired of embarrassing herself, why not stop? She hanged her head and shrugged her shoulders.
“Where are you going to live,” we asked her?
“In an apartment,” she replied.
“How are you going to pay rent?” Again she raised her shoulders then said.
“I will move in with a friend. She is twenty-eight and her parents will pay the rent.”
“So, your twenty-eight year old friend’s parents will maintain you?” She did not respond but kept looking down. So my husband said to her.
“If you have so much difficulty living with us, what is going to be different if you are living on your own?”
“Well I feel that I am doing these things because I want to be independent.”
“So you are claiming that all this is to get us to send you away?”
“Not forever, I feel that I have things too easy. Perhaps if I had to work then I will stop.”
In my heart I felt that, then she would come up with yet another excuse and yet another. At first it was the lost of not being with her biological mother and then wanting a relationship with her older biological siblings. The one thing that is very obvious is that she is looking for something more than I am giving to her.
Personally I have never wish or prayed for patience, for it is said that fortitude comes from tribulations. I am not a lover of trouble or difficulty and the older I become the less I want to be plagued with trials. Yet in my present circumstances and I know it is more from a lack of options that I find myself exercising a lot of self control. The main objective is for my daughter to realize that I will always love her no matter what. Her present behaviors have certainly grieved me. I woke up this morning telling myself, that love is enduring and kind so although I have no desire to be patient, love is. If I say I love her then I need to be serene with her. A very difficult task because it is not easy watching someone you love self destruct.
Visit ruthspoetry.rahtimes.com/ for more on the Author.
Hi Ruth:
ReplyDeleteI hardly ever use Facebook but tonight decided to browse and started reading some of your blogs. Wow! I'm so impressed. Never realized you were so insightful. I then started to think and remember...
I wish you all the best....