Rah Times

The idea of parenting is to guide children not to repress them to where they become discouraged. This is what I meant when I said in my previous writing that a wise person builds her home and a foolish person tears it apart. The idea is to instruct children so that they can make good decisions in life. Everyone makes mistakes but in doing so it should be a learning process. I would want for my mistakes to be teaching tool. For others to not make the same mistakes I made and for me to not keep repeating the same mistakes. I am thankful that I do have the option to evaluate what I am doing and what I need to be working on. Actually that is what these writing have been about for me. I am working through and giving thought to my actions and responses. I am also evaluating them and considering if I am getting my desired out come. My children do not have the maturity to do this for themselves but this is something I would want for them to learn. I also do want to discourage negative behavior

I had an epiphany this morning. It occurred to me that where my children's heart is that is what they are interested in. I often got frustrated when I felt that I was not getting through to them. They would all seem to grasp some of what I would try to convey but not the entire picture. I started examining the things I stressed as a parent and what I was like as a youth. Especially so now that two out of four has placed forming relationship as their main focus. I tried to teach my girls that relationships were more important than possessions. As their mother I believed that I valued people and relationships more than acquiring material goods. It was because of this belief that I abandoned my career to care for my family. Once I had a family the career became secondary to them. Given all this, I still have a few treasured effects. I get quite upset when they take or damage my personal belongings. My children have never expressed that they feel that I value my things more than them.

The challenge of this time is feeling triumphant in the face of adversity. This is currently a struggle for me because I have five teenage children. As a nurse or even while taking care of other people's laundry, life seemed a lot less complicated. A smile from a familiar face or having that feeling of accomplishment after caring for another person's medical need, was a lot different. Whatever it was the challenges that came from those things were easier. I have often said that I am a caretaker by nature and whether it was nursing or mothering it is all the same. My children though, have caused me to question my competency as one. I am beginning to see a big difference in caring for patients and patrons than caring for my own. A young man once told me thank you after caring for him in the emergency room. He thanked me because he realized that I went above and beyond my duty and was being nice to him. I had observed that his mother was over protective of him. He looked a littl