Turning Challenges into Triumph
The challenge of this time is feeling triumphant in the face of adversity. This is currently a struggle for me because I have five teenage children. As a nurse or even while taking care of other people's laundry, life seemed a lot less complicated. A smile from a familiar face or having that feeling of accomplishment after caring for another person's medical need, was a lot different. Whatever it was the challenges that came from those things were easier. I have often said that I am a caretaker by nature and whether it was nursing or mothering it is all the same. My children though, have caused me to question my competency as one. I am beginning to see a big difference in caring for patients and patrons than caring for my own.
A young man once told me thank you after caring for him in the emergency room. He thanked me because he realized that I went above and beyond my duty and was being nice to him. I had observed that his mother was over protective of him. He looked a little anxious and I felt the need to melt his fears away. For the few hours his mother was not there I became his substitute mom. Now that I am a mom, I find it is not easy being a mom or a substitute one. Well it was much easier when the biggest challenge was wiping noses and changing diapers. Now that my children have opinions and interests and desires of their own it is a whole different scenario.
-->Where as all these can be a positive character trait they can also be improper at times. When a child that is not mine is being out of place I have no difficulty being gracious to them. I find it real easy to smile and view their behavior as being harmless when I am not responsible for a child. It is very different though, when it is my child. What I might find humorous in a non-relative, I would totally ground my child for.
The setback with being like this is that I know my children may view this as being hypocritical. I have often told them that the reason I was grounding them was because I loved them. I say that but it does not make sense to even me. I understand the rationale is to discourage negative behavior and that it is indeed a balancing act. I do not want to defeat my children to the point where I suppress who they are.
-->I am trying to teach my children that they need to be able to balance their activities. I know how difficult it is do this because I am still trying to accomplish that. The time spent socializing should not be far more hours than the time they spend studying. With the same in mind I need to balance my graciousness to them with my issuing them consequences. Even with their interest, it should not appear as if the only thing they are interested in is the opposite sex. It also need to be evident that they are also interested in learning and aspiring to do more with their life.
My children never knew me as a nurse. All they have seen and known is that daddy works and mommy stays at home and meet their needs. That bothered me because I wanted my girls to aspire to have a good education. Even if they chose to become a stay at home wife and mother. Children learn by example and they tend to follow in their parents footsteps. Yet it would appear that 2 out of 4 of my girls, seem to have grasps something different. So my challenge is to motivate the younger ones to follow in the footsteps of their older sisters. It is very difficult to feel triumphant after I have encouraged instead of discouraged. I have grounded them to deter them from making the wrong choices and lectured them in order to get them to find a middle ground. I do not want for any of my children to have to take the long hard way to achieving. I also do realize that there is only so much I can do and it would sure be nice to be able to say, we got past all this. For now all I can do is chose to not worry about that. The accomplishment of the day is being triumphant in the small things; everyone has been attending classes regularly. It may take a longer time for others to learn but eventually they will all learn. After all they had to learn to walk before they learned to run.
In conclusion it is the way I view my challenges that caused me to feel triumphant or defeated.
A young man once told me thank you after caring for him in the emergency room. He thanked me because he realized that I went above and beyond my duty and was being nice to him. I had observed that his mother was over protective of him. He looked a little anxious and I felt the need to melt his fears away. For the few hours his mother was not there I became his substitute mom. Now that I am a mom, I find it is not easy being a mom or a substitute one. Well it was much easier when the biggest challenge was wiping noses and changing diapers. Now that my children have opinions and interests and desires of their own it is a whole different scenario.
-->Where as all these can be a positive character trait they can also be improper at times. When a child that is not mine is being out of place I have no difficulty being gracious to them. I find it real easy to smile and view their behavior as being harmless when I am not responsible for a child. It is very different though, when it is my child. What I might find humorous in a non-relative, I would totally ground my child for.
The setback with being like this is that I know my children may view this as being hypocritical. I have often told them that the reason I was grounding them was because I loved them. I say that but it does not make sense to even me. I understand the rationale is to discourage negative behavior and that it is indeed a balancing act. I do not want to defeat my children to the point where I suppress who they are.
-->I am trying to teach my children that they need to be able to balance their activities. I know how difficult it is do this because I am still trying to accomplish that. The time spent socializing should not be far more hours than the time they spend studying. With the same in mind I need to balance my graciousness to them with my issuing them consequences. Even with their interest, it should not appear as if the only thing they are interested in is the opposite sex. It also need to be evident that they are also interested in learning and aspiring to do more with their life.
My children never knew me as a nurse. All they have seen and known is that daddy works and mommy stays at home and meet their needs. That bothered me because I wanted my girls to aspire to have a good education. Even if they chose to become a stay at home wife and mother. Children learn by example and they tend to follow in their parents footsteps. Yet it would appear that 2 out of 4 of my girls, seem to have grasps something different. So my challenge is to motivate the younger ones to follow in the footsteps of their older sisters. It is very difficult to feel triumphant after I have encouraged instead of discouraged. I have grounded them to deter them from making the wrong choices and lectured them in order to get them to find a middle ground. I do not want for any of my children to have to take the long hard way to achieving. I also do realize that there is only so much I can do and it would sure be nice to be able to say, we got past all this. For now all I can do is chose to not worry about that. The accomplishment of the day is being triumphant in the small things; everyone has been attending classes regularly. It may take a longer time for others to learn but eventually they will all learn. After all they had to learn to walk before they learned to run.
In conclusion it is the way I view my challenges that caused me to feel triumphant or defeated.
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