Disappointing Day
I feel a little disappointed today. Not so much because it is my daughter's court hearing but more because she continues to be defiant. After returning from Texas Challenge Academy, she made several phone calls to several of her male friends. She claimed because she spent her birthday in juvenile that it was her right to have a birthday party. I was intensely annoyed at her, to say the least. I then had her called back all her friends and cancel the party. Her canceling the party was the result, but we had a yelling match before she agreed to do it. According to her, my husband gave her permission to have a party. I did not think she should be rewarded especially after all the behavioral issues. I also clearly explained to her that she needs to ask permission before using the telephone.
Last night after my husband went to take our oldest child back to her college campus, she took his telephone and called a male friend. At about 12 midnight, her younger sister entered our bedroom to say she was still on the telephone. Again when I went to discuss the situation with her, she felt well within her rights to violate our trust and do as she was pleased.
At 1pm, we went to court for her hearing concerning using my car without my permission. In exchange for her pleading guilty, the DA deferred her punishment. So essentially she will have a juvenile record. If she stays out of trouble for the next two years, then her record will be sealed. If she gets into any sort of trouble, she will then be reprimanded to the county jail. In the mean time, this limits her choices when it comes to attending college. She would have to submit in writing and explain her record and give a reason why the university should accept her. Therefore, her current behavior would affect her, altering life, especially if she seeks higher education. For now learning is not her focus but it is more to develop and have a relationship with members of the opposite sex.
I know because my priority at that age was getting through school that I struggle with understanding this. I know that to the detriment of my developing friendships I focused a lot on what I wanted out of life. I also see my older teen girls seem to be skillfully mastering both. Perhaps it is because we are both at the extreme opposite end of this that it has impacted me so much. I had to work to put myself through school, and all this child had to do was apply her self and it would have been given to her. I know that we are not all the same and that people differ, and we do in every way, even the fact that I had so little in comparison to what she has. I am saddened to have to watch her throw it all away. The reason I adopted children were not that I was unable to have children but because I wanted to give an otherwise disadvantage child what I was not given. In this instance, I failed because, despite all my efforts, I was not able to accomplish this with this child.
Last night after my husband went to take our oldest child back to her college campus, she took his telephone and called a male friend. At about 12 midnight, her younger sister entered our bedroom to say she was still on the telephone. Again when I went to discuss the situation with her, she felt well within her rights to violate our trust and do as she was pleased.
At 1pm, we went to court for her hearing concerning using my car without my permission. In exchange for her pleading guilty, the DA deferred her punishment. So essentially she will have a juvenile record. If she stays out of trouble for the next two years, then her record will be sealed. If she gets into any sort of trouble, she will then be reprimanded to the county jail. In the mean time, this limits her choices when it comes to attending college. She would have to submit in writing and explain her record and give a reason why the university should accept her. Therefore, her current behavior would affect her, altering life, especially if she seeks higher education. For now learning is not her focus but it is more to develop and have a relationship with members of the opposite sex.
I know because my priority at that age was getting through school that I struggle with understanding this. I know that to the detriment of my developing friendships I focused a lot on what I wanted out of life. I also see my older teen girls seem to be skillfully mastering both. Perhaps it is because we are both at the extreme opposite end of this that it has impacted me so much. I had to work to put myself through school, and all this child had to do was apply her self and it would have been given to her. I know that we are not all the same and that people differ, and we do in every way, even the fact that I had so little in comparison to what she has. I am saddened to have to watch her throw it all away. The reason I adopted children were not that I was unable to have children but because I wanted to give an otherwise disadvantage child what I was not given. In this instance, I failed because, despite all my efforts, I was not able to accomplish this with this child.
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