Knowing When to Walk Away
Is there ever a time when it is OK to say, “I have done my best, yet it was not good enough, I just need to give up?” I have asked myself this question many times and today, this is where I am again. It is extremely difficult when you give yourself to others over and over, only to push my interests on the back burner. It is even worse when circumstances stand in the way of attaining a goals and one have to start again.
I am terribly disappointed because my daughter got dismissed from the Texas ChalleNGe Academy. The program was supposedly geared towards teaching the cadets discipline also, to enable them to finish high school.
In my last blog, I stated that my daughter felt that she was not getting any love where she was. It turned out there were 20 girls in the program and a much larger number of boys. In trying to keep the boys separated from the girls, the girls were mostly kept locked in the bunker. According to my daughter a few of the girls started to harass her. She reported it to the team leader and was told it was not that serious. It might not have appeared serious to them, but the problem escalated. Most of her toiletries got stolen, and whatever was not stolen was tainted with toxic chemicals. The shampoo she brought home had Clorox in it. Cadets did their own laundry; therefore, they had access to these chemicals.
When the phone call came in that I needed to come and pick her up, I was not surprised. I could tell from her letters that she was going through a rough time. When I asked the woman for an explanation; I was shocked by her response. She said that it was because my daughter punched another girl in the face. I know my daughter is a strong-willed, but in all her years, she had never hit anyone. There was an instance in school when a girl had walked up to my younger daughter, and hit her in the face. This daughter is extremely protective of that sister and even as difficult as the situation was she refrained. Knowing this, I was extremely surprised. I did not question the woman too much.
When I informed her mentor of the situation, she was a bit upset with me. She thought that I should have made the six-hour drive in order that I could inquire and get to the bottom of the issue. I had fought many battles when my children were younger. I was exhausted from life constantly being that way. I did not think that battle was worth taking on. I considered it, but from knowing my daughter, I thought she must have been in a dangerous situation for her to have lashed out. I can tell in her letters that she was crying out for help. I could not with a clear conscience go fight for her to be in a place if she were unsafe. Yet, I felt as if I were whipped. As if I, also had lost the fight of my life. My husband went to retrieve her, and I made a few phone calls. I ended up having to get a court order (because of her age) in order that she could attend the GED class at a local junior college.
Sure, I wanted her to be disciplined, but not to become a hoodlum or a rough girl. It is actually the responsibility of parents to discipline their children and not someone else. So I guess I had better rise to this Challenge and get over my disappointment. Important!
I am terribly disappointed because my daughter got dismissed from the Texas ChalleNGe Academy. The program was supposedly geared towards teaching the cadets discipline also, to enable them to finish high school.
In my last blog, I stated that my daughter felt that she was not getting any love where she was. It turned out there were 20 girls in the program and a much larger number of boys. In trying to keep the boys separated from the girls, the girls were mostly kept locked in the bunker. According to my daughter a few of the girls started to harass her. She reported it to the team leader and was told it was not that serious. It might not have appeared serious to them, but the problem escalated. Most of her toiletries got stolen, and whatever was not stolen was tainted with toxic chemicals. The shampoo she brought home had Clorox in it. Cadets did their own laundry; therefore, they had access to these chemicals.
When the phone call came in that I needed to come and pick her up, I was not surprised. I could tell from her letters that she was going through a rough time. When I asked the woman for an explanation; I was shocked by her response. She said that it was because my daughter punched another girl in the face. I know my daughter is a strong-willed, but in all her years, she had never hit anyone. There was an instance in school when a girl had walked up to my younger daughter, and hit her in the face. This daughter is extremely protective of that sister and even as difficult as the situation was she refrained. Knowing this, I was extremely surprised. I did not question the woman too much.
When I informed her mentor of the situation, she was a bit upset with me. She thought that I should have made the six-hour drive in order that I could inquire and get to the bottom of the issue. I had fought many battles when my children were younger. I was exhausted from life constantly being that way. I did not think that battle was worth taking on. I considered it, but from knowing my daughter, I thought she must have been in a dangerous situation for her to have lashed out. I can tell in her letters that she was crying out for help. I could not with a clear conscience go fight for her to be in a place if she were unsafe. Yet, I felt as if I were whipped. As if I, also had lost the fight of my life. My husband went to retrieve her, and I made a few phone calls. I ended up having to get a court order (because of her age) in order that she could attend the GED class at a local junior college.
Sure, I wanted her to be disciplined, but not to become a hoodlum or a rough girl. It is actually the responsibility of parents to discipline their children and not someone else. So I guess I had better rise to this Challenge and get over my disappointment. Important!
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