Relevant Insignificance!
Every marriage has it ups and downs, highs and lows. Oddly enough because I had taken on a monstrous of a task, the things that damage mine had quite a bit to do with that. Whatever caused my heart to become broken were the things that impacted my children’s future. It was enough that I had to battle society to do the right thing. It was horrendous that I had moments where I was engaged in battle with my spouse for the exact reason. I can recall an instant when a star war movie was premièring in May 1999. It was on the same day as my daughter's preschool graduation. As I sought my husband’s support to attend the graduation, he defiantly told me, our daughter would have many more significant miles stones. At those moments, he would be there, but that graduating from preschool was not one of them. He added that it was not every day, however, that a Star War movie opens, so that was what he chose to attend.
Even at that early age that particular child had struggles. I did not view that graduation as being insignificant, not in the least. I knew how she got to Head Start and the fact that she completed the program that was significant enough to earn both her parent’s support. I also knew the pain and agony I experienced prior to placing her there. Initially, we had her in a mother’s day out program at a local church. Unfortunately, she could not sit still or lay quietly with out disturbing other children. With that, the director of that program, from the recommendation of her then teacher asked me to with draw her.
I was extremely disappointed in those adults, but not in my child. I was fully aware that she had some neurological struggles. I was also fully aware that the church categorized that program as one of their ministry. Sending a child away was certainly not ministering, to the child or to me. That kind of action does greatly impact a person’s self worth. Even I as a mature adult, felt deeply wounded and discouraged by their actions.
After becoming a teen, this was the one child that struggled the most from being abandoned by her biological mother. Those feelings were what leading to her spiraling out of control upon entering high school. As the person who cared for her, her behavior affected me more than anyone, the reason it did was because repeatedly, I did as was requested and looked into an alternative program for her. That incident, however, marked the first of many other times of my doing that. Up until the day she walked out of our life, I spent countless hours advocating on her behalf.
Today I cannot recall moment by moment how the day she graduated went, but I can still vividly recall the disappointment my husband actions produced in me. I remember it because despite all my effort to help our child, she still ran off and did not complete high school. Neither my husband nor I was ever given another opportunity to rejoice in what might have been viewed as a minute accomplishment but such a significant one. Not any of us is promised tomorrow, with that there is no movie or any kind of nonrelated event that is ever worth passing up the accomplishment of a child.
Even at that early age that particular child had struggles. I did not view that graduation as being insignificant, not in the least. I knew how she got to Head Start and the fact that she completed the program that was significant enough to earn both her parent’s support. I also knew the pain and agony I experienced prior to placing her there. Initially, we had her in a mother’s day out program at a local church. Unfortunately, she could not sit still or lay quietly with out disturbing other children. With that, the director of that program, from the recommendation of her then teacher asked me to with draw her.
I was extremely disappointed in those adults, but not in my child. I was fully aware that she had some neurological struggles. I was also fully aware that the church categorized that program as one of their ministry. Sending a child away was certainly not ministering, to the child or to me. That kind of action does greatly impact a person’s self worth. Even I as a mature adult, felt deeply wounded and discouraged by their actions.
After becoming a teen, this was the one child that struggled the most from being abandoned by her biological mother. Those feelings were what leading to her spiraling out of control upon entering high school. As the person who cared for her, her behavior affected me more than anyone, the reason it did was because repeatedly, I did as was requested and looked into an alternative program for her. That incident, however, marked the first of many other times of my doing that. Up until the day she walked out of our life, I spent countless hours advocating on her behalf.
Today I cannot recall moment by moment how the day she graduated went, but I can still vividly recall the disappointment my husband actions produced in me. I remember it because despite all my effort to help our child, she still ran off and did not complete high school. Neither my husband nor I was ever given another opportunity to rejoice in what might have been viewed as a minute accomplishment but such a significant one. Not any of us is promised tomorrow, with that there is no movie or any kind of nonrelated event that is ever worth passing up the accomplishment of a child.
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