Acceptance!

I believed in a loving caring God, but for the last few years, I can rightfully say that my opinion of that has changed. I know that he occasionally reveals himself in the form of a parent, a spouse or in the smile of a child. I have been a bit illusive in the things that I have written and even now I am not going to give details. I can, however, say that having a partner whose approach differs from mine and a child whose life style and choices differs has been extremely trying.

Today I promise myself to let go and accept that this is the way things are and will be. I cannot change the way people relate to me or attain the things I wanted to do with my life, given these circumstances. I have tried to stay positive and not be discouraged by writing and painting and studying the word of God. While I have felt blessed by him in the past, today I feel deserted. I know that there is nothing one can do to elicit anyone's love, and I have learned that through my children, parents, and spouse. Perhaps a valuable lesson, but this has left me sad and depressed. I sometimes achieve the things that I want but not quite in the way I would have chosen. This does not do a whole lot for my ego. I have lived the way I have lived for most of my life, but the time has come for me to make some changes. As I am writing this post, I am contemplating to start by closing down this site. I am not sure that it has brought any comfort to me. Neither am I aware that it has positively impacted anyone's life. I am wasting my time and time is extremely precious. I hope life, love and laughter works a lot better for you than it has me. Goodbye.

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