Ineffective Pursuit
Today, I realized that there is no joy or reward from proving that I was right, and another was in error. All things remained the same, and the situation and circumstances did not change. If anything, it left me exhausted and even more broken hearted than I already was. If, the truth were to be made known the other party did not acknowledge any wrong doing but held fast to his own convictions. Oddly enough, in doing so, I felt that was evidence of indifference; therefore, my own actions were justified.
This was actually not the best time for me to be unwavering in pursuing this futile battle. I am physically and emotionally drained from dealing with my highly demanding family. As an individual, with my own needs and desires, I was convinced I needed this to know how I would precede with life. I guess I will continue as I am persuaded. If I, however, do not think my well being to be of importance and aim for contentment and satisfaction, no one will do that for me. Most of my children are as head strong, which lends to a lot more conflicts and less compromising. At least two of them are determined to do exactly what they want, regardless of the consequences. Most of my time is consumed with trying to redirect them, and with showing them the lasting effects of poor choices. This alone wears on my sense of moral and is emotionally draining.
After having made several errors in life, I too have come to realize the need to be an extremely involved parent. Also from having being judged harshly, I know the importance of evaluating circumstances, before forming my own conclusions. Things are not always as they appear and from first glance we sometimes do not see the full picture. There are always two sides to every story and blindly holding to one is not the wisest way to go. A minuscule of people would readily admit that they are the offender, besides the reward for being a victim is greater. Even in knowing that they are wrong, it is easier to blame, than take responsibility, for mistakes. With that, the offender continues to offend. Well at least, this is my summary. I have found this to be so not only with my children but with others also. In my family, as Mom, it would appear as if my place is to be blamed and dumped on. If this has ever happened to you, then I am sure you can identify with my plight. To say it is difficult, or hurtful is an under statement. It is like having a gaping wound that never heals but keeps getting injured.
This was actually not the best time for me to be unwavering in pursuing this futile battle. I am physically and emotionally drained from dealing with my highly demanding family. As an individual, with my own needs and desires, I was convinced I needed this to know how I would precede with life. I guess I will continue as I am persuaded. If I, however, do not think my well being to be of importance and aim for contentment and satisfaction, no one will do that for me. Most of my children are as head strong, which lends to a lot more conflicts and less compromising. At least two of them are determined to do exactly what they want, regardless of the consequences. Most of my time is consumed with trying to redirect them, and with showing them the lasting effects of poor choices. This alone wears on my sense of moral and is emotionally draining.
After having made several errors in life, I too have come to realize the need to be an extremely involved parent. Also from having being judged harshly, I know the importance of evaluating circumstances, before forming my own conclusions. Things are not always as they appear and from first glance we sometimes do not see the full picture. There are always two sides to every story and blindly holding to one is not the wisest way to go. A minuscule of people would readily admit that they are the offender, besides the reward for being a victim is greater. Even in knowing that they are wrong, it is easier to blame, than take responsibility, for mistakes. With that, the offender continues to offend. Well at least, this is my summary. I have found this to be so not only with my children but with others also. In my family, as Mom, it would appear as if my place is to be blamed and dumped on. If this has ever happened to you, then I am sure you can identify with my plight. To say it is difficult, or hurtful is an under statement. It is like having a gaping wound that never heals but keeps getting injured.
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