Unrecognized!
If a person is not going to be gracious and kind to his or her spouse from the start then, the worse person he could choose to wed is an angel. With no true distinction between yesterday, today and tomorrow, it is extremely difficult to separate the hurts of yesteryear from my feelings of today.
Saying a person is forgiven is not saying that the memory or the pain inflicted is gone. What that means is that I will not hold them accountable for that wrong. I also know the degree of difficulty to do that in the presence of that same error. I know because I have been living it and not exactly graciously.
At times, I feel that the pain of being deserted by my partner has caused me to resent all those that were given such a magnificent gift, and in their folly has rejected it. Yes, it all feels like rejection to me. My marriage has become a chore and is no longer a partnership the way it was meant to be. I remain, and I do for my children’s sake, but I hurt and I sorrow in my heart.
I read the prophecy of Isaiah quite a bit to make sense of my true desertion. At times, like men I cannot make the distinction between me and the City of Jerusalem. Who exactly did God promise that strong foundation? I know based on our relationship that it is not me. As I am the same woman of Revelation 12, and the deserted one in Isaiah 54. I know that the wound of the beast, as it is written, will heal. At this very moment, this does not seem possible to me. I know what it is like for error to destroy a relationship, and I know that we are not magicians in the manner that men believe us to be. I know that I am honest and true and would not pretend that everything is OK, when it is not. I speak the truth in my words as well as in the display of my emotions.
I was sent here for a purpose, and by my will, my purpose would disappear, and that would affect mankind as a whole. Currently, that sincerely is not relevant to me. I am thinking more of the pain brought upon me, by my earthly presence. I know the majority of them do not know me, and I am tired of listening to their error in teaching and beliefs. What do I care if they are affected in the future, by their ignorance they are not even aware of it. For it is by their precise folly that they attribute the title of the bride of Christ to themselves. He is currently married to one of them, and I, am not recognized or treated as what I am, by any of my husbands.
Saying a person is forgiven is not saying that the memory or the pain inflicted is gone. What that means is that I will not hold them accountable for that wrong. I also know the degree of difficulty to do that in the presence of that same error. I know because I have been living it and not exactly graciously.
At times, I feel that the pain of being deserted by my partner has caused me to resent all those that were given such a magnificent gift, and in their folly has rejected it. Yes, it all feels like rejection to me. My marriage has become a chore and is no longer a partnership the way it was meant to be. I remain, and I do for my children’s sake, but I hurt and I sorrow in my heart.
I read the prophecy of Isaiah quite a bit to make sense of my true desertion. At times, like men I cannot make the distinction between me and the City of Jerusalem. Who exactly did God promise that strong foundation? I know based on our relationship that it is not me. As I am the same woman of Revelation 12, and the deserted one in Isaiah 54. I know that the wound of the beast, as it is written, will heal. At this very moment, this does not seem possible to me. I know what it is like for error to destroy a relationship, and I know that we are not magicians in the manner that men believe us to be. I know that I am honest and true and would not pretend that everything is OK, when it is not. I speak the truth in my words as well as in the display of my emotions.
I was sent here for a purpose, and by my will, my purpose would disappear, and that would affect mankind as a whole. Currently, that sincerely is not relevant to me. I am thinking more of the pain brought upon me, by my earthly presence. I know the majority of them do not know me, and I am tired of listening to their error in teaching and beliefs. What do I care if they are affected in the future, by their ignorance they are not even aware of it. For it is by their precise folly that they attribute the title of the bride of Christ to themselves. He is currently married to one of them, and I, am not recognized or treated as what I am, by any of my husbands.
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