Questioning Myself!
I do not know which of us is capable of living in constant bombardment; neither do I know of anyone that would consider a person who turns a blind eye to one’s sufferings as being a lover of them.
There was a time when I was deceived by men’s flirtatious acts towards me, but soon came to realize that flirtation was not love. As I slowly fell apart from the situations I constantly found myself in and reached out to them for help, and as individuals ignored me, the truth became crystal clear. As I cry out to my God, He listened, but ignored me, I knew neither was I his priority.
It grieved me, not them, for words can never impart the extent of my suffering to anyone. I keep asking myself, how I can ever find it in my heart to forgive. If my days ever changes how could I forget my own pain and sufferings. How could I forget that as I asked, all they did was ignored and turn a blind eye. Have I not learned from all I suffered? What kind of love or beauty is there to be found in any of those but self love? How could I love them more than they hated me? It matters not what they intended, what matters most is the effects that resulted. Empty words and promises does not give relief or comforts me, but I do need to remember, in order that I do not make the same mistake again.
There was a time when I was deceived by men’s flirtatious acts towards me, but soon came to realize that flirtation was not love. As I slowly fell apart from the situations I constantly found myself in and reached out to them for help, and as individuals ignored me, the truth became crystal clear. As I cry out to my God, He listened, but ignored me, I knew neither was I his priority.
It grieved me, not them, for words can never impart the extent of my suffering to anyone. I keep asking myself, how I can ever find it in my heart to forgive. If my days ever changes how could I forget my own pain and sufferings. How could I forget that as I asked, all they did was ignored and turn a blind eye. Have I not learned from all I suffered? What kind of love or beauty is there to be found in any of those but self love? How could I love them more than they hated me? It matters not what they intended, what matters most is the effects that resulted. Empty words and promises does not give relief or comforts me, but I do need to remember, in order that I do not make the same mistake again.
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