Single but Not Alone!
When I was an unmarried woman I gave no thought or did I put any value on the time I spent by myself. As a nurse, I worked twelve hour shifts, and when I got back to my apartment, my desire was for sleep not companionship.
When I was first married my husband worked from 7 am until 3pm. I worked from 3pm until 11:30 pm. One of his coworker once joked that this was the reason our marriage was working. I felt a little slighted by the comment. I had honestly never given any thought to the fact that we were only literally sleeping together. My husband’s presences made me secure and fulfilled my desire to be with someone. It was working for me because, at that time, that was what I needed.
Prior to being married I lived for almost 4 years on my own. While the majority of my time was spent in the presence of many others, at the end of the day, I retreated to my solitary space. The companionship I had from my coworkers was enough. Generally, I always had friends, but not intimacy, so that was what, I craved. During my first years of marriage, I cannot say that my husband was a companion. To date, I cannot say that, he is either. What I can say is that he is my partner and that we have an intimate relationship. I got exactly what I was seeking out of the relationship, although, at the time of my nuptial, I was not fully aware of this. In retrospect, I can now see it.
In my opinion, God did not expect people to live alone. If he did, he would not have given Adam a wife. I am sure that marriage was an ideal one and a whole lot different, from marriages today. In this age, people often partner with individuals from different walks of life. With the coming together of different cultures, upbringing and goals into relationship, we face many more obstacles. It is, in fact, these things that cause us to disagree on occasion. I know in my marriage that based on my experience, I see things differently from my spouse. It is frustrating at times, and either I have to wait impatiently for him to understand, or I have to accept his point of view as a possibility. There are times when he is right, and times when I am. I would never admit this to him but, that is the way it is.
I find being married extremely challenging, and the struggles we have with our children complicate things. I, however, still like being married. Given my large family, I can still appreciate the dynamics of our situation. I now appreciate all the time that I spend alone, and I promise, I will never again refer to myself as a lonely girl. I do believe, however, that I have a new understanding of the desire for companionship versus intimacy. I do not believe that I, as an individual, ever sought after companionship but intimacy. I am now pretty aware that I have always enjoyed being alone. I also, did enjoy the company of those that were my friends. Perhaps I am the way I am because I came from a big family, so I craved space and privacy.
While God knows that he is ever present, yet the scriptures do say that it is not expedient for man to be alone. I do not think that is what he intended for us. Although, there are a lot of things in this life, that God never intended, yet it is so. We, therefore, need to make the best of our situation until, it changes.
Visit ruthspoetry.rahtimes.com/ for more on the Author.
When I was first married my husband worked from 7 am until 3pm. I worked from 3pm until 11:30 pm. One of his coworker once joked that this was the reason our marriage was working. I felt a little slighted by the comment. I had honestly never given any thought to the fact that we were only literally sleeping together. My husband’s presences made me secure and fulfilled my desire to be with someone. It was working for me because, at that time, that was what I needed.
Prior to being married I lived for almost 4 years on my own. While the majority of my time was spent in the presence of many others, at the end of the day, I retreated to my solitary space. The companionship I had from my coworkers was enough. Generally, I always had friends, but not intimacy, so that was what, I craved. During my first years of marriage, I cannot say that my husband was a companion. To date, I cannot say that, he is either. What I can say is that he is my partner and that we have an intimate relationship. I got exactly what I was seeking out of the relationship, although, at the time of my nuptial, I was not fully aware of this. In retrospect, I can now see it.
In my opinion, God did not expect people to live alone. If he did, he would not have given Adam a wife. I am sure that marriage was an ideal one and a whole lot different, from marriages today. In this age, people often partner with individuals from different walks of life. With the coming together of different cultures, upbringing and goals into relationship, we face many more obstacles. It is, in fact, these things that cause us to disagree on occasion. I know in my marriage that based on my experience, I see things differently from my spouse. It is frustrating at times, and either I have to wait impatiently for him to understand, or I have to accept his point of view as a possibility. There are times when he is right, and times when I am. I would never admit this to him but, that is the way it is.
I find being married extremely challenging, and the struggles we have with our children complicate things. I, however, still like being married. Given my large family, I can still appreciate the dynamics of our situation. I now appreciate all the time that I spend alone, and I promise, I will never again refer to myself as a lonely girl. I do believe, however, that I have a new understanding of the desire for companionship versus intimacy. I do not believe that I, as an individual, ever sought after companionship but intimacy. I am now pretty aware that I have always enjoyed being alone. I also, did enjoy the company of those that were my friends. Perhaps I am the way I am because I came from a big family, so I craved space and privacy.
While God knows that he is ever present, yet the scriptures do say that it is not expedient for man to be alone. I do not think that is what he intended for us. Although, there are a lot of things in this life, that God never intended, yet it is so. We, therefore, need to make the best of our situation until, it changes.
Visit ruthspoetry.rahtimes.com/ for more on the Author.
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