Though I was refused!

Bombarded by life’s hurdles, I found myself repressed by it.
As if undisciplined my mind was plagued by it.
Reminiscing repeated about let downs and disappointments.
Moments that disgraced only intensified my predicament.
I had not a single memory of encouragement.
All appeared as if they were given specifically to defeat me.
Now trapped in my memory, after lacking resolve.
They are as effective as they were when they buried me.
As my situation changed, the level of difficulty remained.
Yet, I cannot accept that, even if, it were my selected destiny.
Though the never ending wheel of challenges and strife encircled.
I persistently pursued that which would give triumphant to me.
If defeat was the legacy that God the father chose to hand to me.
The balance was horribly uneven, as clearly displayed by the strife,
He failed to lift or take away from me, even after I asked.
To do for and by myself was the only good it created within me.
For it was evident that God had refused to help or assist me.
I chose to act, change life, for that was my desire not his priority.