Circle!
I have never felt more alone and unsupported as I do today. There is no point in asking for help, I long got the message, but kept trying. Now I have accepted and am truly aware that my situation is persistently the same and will never change. So I did all that I could do and wrote another poem and more than lightly will push all away, in the end.
After trying to get information from one of my daughter about another, she was obnoxious and extremely disrespectful to me. It seriously upsets me. With that, I asked my husband to talk with her about how she responds to me.
He looked at me and point blankly asked, “why do you always involve me in these things’.
Well, I did because I thought that was his responsibility as a husband and father. Quite frankly, I brought that upon myself because I have never known him ever to stand by me.
I honestly feel that I adopted my children at an age where they were full capable of learning to respect and love me as their mother. I have been married to my husband for 19 years and had I been untrustworthy, his behavior would have made sense to me. Unfortunately, it is not only his behavior that is baffling and heart breaking to me, but the fact that I seem unable to correct this siutation. With that, I do what I can and express my frustration.
Each time I leave and return;
The circle gets repeated.
I want to leave because after all
That I have done, it is unappreciated.
My heart gets broken all over again.
Defend me, stand by me, encourage me,
Love me, support me and understand me.
For once stand by me, do not leave, this has to end.
I asked you and promised that I will not again.
Who are you to me, my enemy or my friend?
I do know that you are not the one on
Whom I can depend, so now I am anxious.
Where can I go, to whom can I look to?
I need for you to tell me, for I need to do that.
After trying to get information from one of my daughter about another, she was obnoxious and extremely disrespectful to me. It seriously upsets me. With that, I asked my husband to talk with her about how she responds to me.
He looked at me and point blankly asked, “why do you always involve me in these things’.
Well, I did because I thought that was his responsibility as a husband and father. Quite frankly, I brought that upon myself because I have never known him ever to stand by me.
I honestly feel that I adopted my children at an age where they were full capable of learning to respect and love me as their mother. I have been married to my husband for 19 years and had I been untrustworthy, his behavior would have made sense to me. Unfortunately, it is not only his behavior that is baffling and heart breaking to me, but the fact that I seem unable to correct this siutation. With that, I do what I can and express my frustration.
Each time I leave and return;
The circle gets repeated.
I want to leave because after all
That I have done, it is unappreciated.
My heart gets broken all over again.
Defend me, stand by me, encourage me,
Love me, support me and understand me.
For once stand by me, do not leave, this has to end.
I asked you and promised that I will not again.
Who are you to me, my enemy or my friend?
I do know that you are not the one on
Whom I can depend, so now I am anxious.
Where can I go, to whom can I look to?
I need for you to tell me, for I need to do that.
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