With Time!

After struggling with the passage of time.
I became unmovable like a rock.
It has been so long that now,
I have become undone, and I am done.
For my heart has long departed.
This was a process, not an over night decision.

I battled with my spirit, my emotions.
I would never deliberately desert anyone.
Especially those my father chose.
But I was a person with human responses.
These memories and experiences will never leave me.
During my entire journey, I placed the welfare of others
Ahead and above my own, I am not doing that anymore.
If this was to wear me down, he's won, and I failed.

I wanted you to win, I had nothing to lose, but you did.
I had to know the truth, know that love was not shown.
That earthly possession and ambitions was preferred.
If I turned away it was because you chose, not I.
I only did walked away because I was offended.
I have tried for a long time, struggled within myself.
Examined all closely before forming my conclusion.

Sadly, I sort of now understand why everyone
Had to be kept at a distance, I am not happy.
I hold unto my father's promise to extend peace.
At the moment it does not quiet my spirit
Only frustrates me. But confirms that my first desires
To stay alone, once I could not find him, were correct.