Conversation with My Father!
I have explained myself for the last time. It is extremely difficult for me to understand some of the things I experienced. It is with greater difficulty that I struggle with the many ways you have turned your back on me.
If a person had any compassion for me, I would not have had to explain myself. When I said, would you, please help me, at the very least if one cared, he would have answered.
Why say, he would help me? When has he ever? When have you? I do not want to be known or have any kind of success at the expensive of my own dignity. What part of that is honorable? This is blatant rejection. You chose him. He has always rejected me. Sure he would have chosen to use me if given the opportunity, but that is all he was willing to do.
I know these are my final hours, and now I have to make a choice, and have chosen based on my conclusion. I have concluded that he has rejected me again. Who and what I am, was never relevant to him, only his own self. Is there any man on the face of this earth that is not taken with him self? These are who you chose for me. Why? Are all your agendas and intentions more valuable than my wellbeing?
If I do not turn away from you, and them, you would again, subject me to these. He obviously does not care about me in the same manner you never did, but why should he? You sent me here and chose not to take care of me, so why would another being. I am your responsibility not theirs. Why did you choose the lowest of the low and turn your back on me? You gave the other so much, and me, you abandoned. Now to me, all this seem as your continued punishment of me. This is how I truly feel. It matters not if I loved him or gave my life to the other, not one of these earthly beings has ever cared for me. Even the one that is like me has done the same. I am not going to ask anymore. I need to protect myself from them and you. I have been on my own from the time I got here, not by choice. Mainly because the ones you chose never wanted me and that hurts. With that, I have concluded it is best for me to walk alone until the end.
If a person had any compassion for me, I would not have had to explain myself. When I said, would you, please help me, at the very least if one cared, he would have answered.
Why say, he would help me? When has he ever? When have you? I do not want to be known or have any kind of success at the expensive of my own dignity. What part of that is honorable? This is blatant rejection. You chose him. He has always rejected me. Sure he would have chosen to use me if given the opportunity, but that is all he was willing to do.
I know these are my final hours, and now I have to make a choice, and have chosen based on my conclusion. I have concluded that he has rejected me again. Who and what I am, was never relevant to him, only his own self. Is there any man on the face of this earth that is not taken with him self? These are who you chose for me. Why? Are all your agendas and intentions more valuable than my wellbeing?
If I do not turn away from you, and them, you would again, subject me to these. He obviously does not care about me in the same manner you never did, but why should he? You sent me here and chose not to take care of me, so why would another being. I am your responsibility not theirs. Why did you choose the lowest of the low and turn your back on me? You gave the other so much, and me, you abandoned. Now to me, all this seem as your continued punishment of me. This is how I truly feel. It matters not if I loved him or gave my life to the other, not one of these earthly beings has ever cared for me. Even the one that is like me has done the same. I am not going to ask anymore. I need to protect myself from them and you. I have been on my own from the time I got here, not by choice. Mainly because the ones you chose never wanted me and that hurts. With that, I have concluded it is best for me to walk alone until the end.
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