Desire to Attain!

I carried him.
His tiny fingers,
I kissed many times.
I can feel them slipping,
From my heart and mind.
He is safe, he should remain
Up in heaven, where he belongs.
I can feel that it will not be he,
But my attaining my desire
That would restore joy to me.
I know it is far fetched but true.
I could not afford what I wanted to do.
Just my thoughts that maybe, I will.
Tucked far away from everyone.
But I have never been so blessed.
I know that would be best for me.
For it is what I wanted above all other.
Not to partner with anyone or have a family.
I tried it, and it confirmed that it was not for me.

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