As A Result of The Past!
What did you do for me, that you think that I owe you something? Jesus asked that questioned when he walked the earth. He said, when I was hungry, you never fed me, when I was exposed, you did not cover me. There are times when people are given a unique opportunity, and they lose out on a great blessing. I can testify to these very things, and it is never the ones that one would expect to give that gives. It is never the ones that one would think loves that loved. For me, it has been various people from different religious beliefs but not exclusively followers of Christ. The woman that was once my closest and dearest friend was a Buddhist. I know that Christians would be appalled to hear that I associated with such a person but again in the first appearance that was Christ experience also. Apart from his disciples, it was always the ones that the religious people did not expect him to associate with that he reached out to.
In my experience, I believe that people today still largely misses the point and ignore God’s representative because their motives are wrong. People do not love for the sake of loving. Even in love they are driven by personal gain and not by desire. It is generally money or position or even sex, and in those cases, they get nothing more than what it was they strove for. That is the idea of the concept behind gaining the world but losing their soul. The reason Jesus said, in that day, I will say get away from me, I never knew you. Sadly, the same will be true with me.
Imagine how different things would be for me if my husband recognized who I was. If my daughters did, I believe their responses would have been different. My life as a child, a teen, young adult, mother, nurse, advocate, would not have yield the same experiences. Could I seriously live peaceably on earth if everyone knew and recognized me for what and who I am? Would any of their responses be authentic and true? Without being truly known, I have difficulty discerning who truly loves and care for me, if it were known, life would be impossible. I would be criticized as much as I would be loved, and unfortunately, the odds are not in my favor or it certainly feels as if it is not.
If you ever knew me, what would you say that I ever did, why you responded to me, in a particular way? Was it that you were retaliating because of something, I did, or was it that I just did not fit your ideals? Based on my experience it has never been me and I do not normally cut anyone off based on a single offense. Neither would I punish myself needlessly. I generally turn my back after years of trying to reach out and after being rejected for a tremendously long time. I have been married for a long time; I have lived on this earth for a long time. My life is as it has been for quite a while and I am convinced that I do not want to subject myself to certain things any longer. With that, I have chosen to take the path of least resistance. Whatever I do not have, if I have to ask, I will do without. I believe that I have given an opportunity to whoever could have helped me, a chance to do so, and they chose to do whatever they chose. I am finished with that, and this is another thing that I am putting behind me. I will not ask, neither am I presently asking anyone for anything, and that includes my father. Whatever he wants to provide for me, he will have to give it to me without my asking. Given that God, himself did not always elect to do for me, I sincerely believe that no one will be judged based on what they also chose to do or not do for my sake. Again, in these writings, I am only revealing how I got to the point of wanting to abandon my purpose and even the desire to end my marriage, when that is something, I am honestly against.
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In my experience, I believe that people today still largely misses the point and ignore God’s representative because their motives are wrong. People do not love for the sake of loving. Even in love they are driven by personal gain and not by desire. It is generally money or position or even sex, and in those cases, they get nothing more than what it was they strove for. That is the idea of the concept behind gaining the world but losing their soul. The reason Jesus said, in that day, I will say get away from me, I never knew you. Sadly, the same will be true with me.
Imagine how different things would be for me if my husband recognized who I was. If my daughters did, I believe their responses would have been different. My life as a child, a teen, young adult, mother, nurse, advocate, would not have yield the same experiences. Could I seriously live peaceably on earth if everyone knew and recognized me for what and who I am? Would any of their responses be authentic and true? Without being truly known, I have difficulty discerning who truly loves and care for me, if it were known, life would be impossible. I would be criticized as much as I would be loved, and unfortunately, the odds are not in my favor or it certainly feels as if it is not.
If you ever knew me, what would you say that I ever did, why you responded to me, in a particular way? Was it that you were retaliating because of something, I did, or was it that I just did not fit your ideals? Based on my experience it has never been me and I do not normally cut anyone off based on a single offense. Neither would I punish myself needlessly. I generally turn my back after years of trying to reach out and after being rejected for a tremendously long time. I have been married for a long time; I have lived on this earth for a long time. My life is as it has been for quite a while and I am convinced that I do not want to subject myself to certain things any longer. With that, I have chosen to take the path of least resistance. Whatever I do not have, if I have to ask, I will do without. I believe that I have given an opportunity to whoever could have helped me, a chance to do so, and they chose to do whatever they chose. I am finished with that, and this is another thing that I am putting behind me. I will not ask, neither am I presently asking anyone for anything, and that includes my father. Whatever he wants to provide for me, he will have to give it to me without my asking. Given that God, himself did not always elect to do for me, I sincerely believe that no one will be judged based on what they also chose to do or not do for my sake. Again, in these writings, I am only revealing how I got to the point of wanting to abandon my purpose and even the desire to end my marriage, when that is something, I am honestly against.
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