No Gains!
I believe in honesty, but in this life, there are times when sincerity does not get us what we want. The exact first time, I ever revealed myself to anyone was because I had sincerely fallen for a fellow. My reason for totally coming out now was not for love, but because I was upset. I now know that my purpose is for the benefit of others, and in knowing it is difficult then to have some of the same recipients turn against me. I know that when it comes to my little pity party that, I am on my own. Meaning, even he who knows me will not jump on his little white horse any time soon to come to my rescue. My intentions for revealing myself were not to force his hand to do that either. The only person I placed at risk is me.
Ironically much of what I have said concerning my desertion was prophesied, even the things concerning my future success. It is just that I know that no one fully understand those prophecies. If I were someone else, I probably would be tickled pink, but I am what I am, therefore, I am not amused or thrilled. In the same light things that maybe categorized as rewarding and honoring, I am not the least impressed with.
As much as I am here as a service to my Father, I have a mind of my own and my own ideas of what I wanted to do. This is where even as a Celestial Creature my way differs from my male prototype. I am as emotional as any other female on the face of this earth, and my male counterpart is as pragmatic. It is almost as if I cannot keep my situation under control, then he chose to disassociate himself from me, and that is what has happened. Yet in some ways I am thankful that no one has come to my rescue and that I was unable to run, and was forced to stick around, and finished an exceedingly difficult task. It would have reflected horribly on me, had I left. I stayed and did what was beneficial not because I wanted to, but because I had no other choice. I was intensely annoyed and conflicted about this. I feel that many times in the past with many things that I did, this was the case. The only reason I was able to accomplish what I did was because I was not given any other options but to do whatever I had to. If it were my Father’s will or not what he intended, those things would not have been allowed. He could have chosen to give me some peace about this, but again he did not, because by being troubled it enlightened me to the rest of my purpose. At the present moment, I cannot expand on this, but I will at a later time.
Just know that there are many aspects in my life that if another person were in my shoe, she would feel blessed. Despite what I appear to be, I am still who and what I am, and that is the reason this is as excruciating for me. I am a unique individual and as different as a man is from a woman, so am I from any other person. I may have foolishly unveiled myself, and I gained nothing from doing so in the same manner, the first time I did it, it did not help. Well at least to me, it demonstrates that if it is not The Father’s will, he closes the mind, heart, and understanding of even the most intelligent of men.
Visit ruthspoetry.rahtimes.com/ for more on the Author.
Ironically much of what I have said concerning my desertion was prophesied, even the things concerning my future success. It is just that I know that no one fully understand those prophecies. If I were someone else, I probably would be tickled pink, but I am what I am, therefore, I am not amused or thrilled. In the same light things that maybe categorized as rewarding and honoring, I am not the least impressed with.
As much as I am here as a service to my Father, I have a mind of my own and my own ideas of what I wanted to do. This is where even as a Celestial Creature my way differs from my male prototype. I am as emotional as any other female on the face of this earth, and my male counterpart is as pragmatic. It is almost as if I cannot keep my situation under control, then he chose to disassociate himself from me, and that is what has happened. Yet in some ways I am thankful that no one has come to my rescue and that I was unable to run, and was forced to stick around, and finished an exceedingly difficult task. It would have reflected horribly on me, had I left. I stayed and did what was beneficial not because I wanted to, but because I had no other choice. I was intensely annoyed and conflicted about this. I feel that many times in the past with many things that I did, this was the case. The only reason I was able to accomplish what I did was because I was not given any other options but to do whatever I had to. If it were my Father’s will or not what he intended, those things would not have been allowed. He could have chosen to give me some peace about this, but again he did not, because by being troubled it enlightened me to the rest of my purpose. At the present moment, I cannot expand on this, but I will at a later time.
Just know that there are many aspects in my life that if another person were in my shoe, she would feel blessed. Despite what I appear to be, I am still who and what I am, and that is the reason this is as excruciating for me. I am a unique individual and as different as a man is from a woman, so am I from any other person. I may have foolishly unveiled myself, and I gained nothing from doing so in the same manner, the first time I did it, it did not help. Well at least to me, it demonstrates that if it is not The Father’s will, he closes the mind, heart, and understanding of even the most intelligent of men.
Visit ruthspoetry.rahtimes.com/ for more on the Author.
Comments
Post a Comment