Beautiful on The Inside, Out!
I can identify with every mother that gave birth to a beautiful child, for I did too. From the moment, I held my first biological daughter; I thought the earth was blessed with the most sticking being. I was pregnant with her shortly after the others arrived in my life. Having five other young children, I did not know how I would cope, but I must have some how because she appears well adjusted. When she was an infant, I was concerned and made an immense effort in meeting her needs. The last thing I wanted was for her to suffer because I had taken on such an enormous responsibility.
The one thing I must say is she has an extremely pleasant personality and was able to become as beautiful on the inside as she is on the outside, which I believe is most valuable. For the first time, yesterday, my husband and I took her shopping just her and us. Our sons were off at a Boy Scout camp, and my other daughter was in a band competition. As we navigated our way from shop to shop, vendor after vendor kept trying to sell her something. I thought it peculiar because she is nothing more than a broke teenager, yet everyone approached her. Oddly enough, when we were in the stores, the scenario was pretty much the same. Although if I were to compare her personality to mine, she is by far more out going and probably more approachable than I am. I am a lot more reserved than she is.
I was extremely surprised, by the way, she handled the whole shopping with mom and dad experience. Not even once did she ask us to buy anything for her and even when I offered, she refused. She did say she did not want her dad to be upset if I spent too much money, on her. That is a lot different from any of my other daughters. The college age one exceeds her allowance month after month and is often indifferent to the limits my husband has set on her.
From attending therapy sessions with my other daughter, I have learned that a lot of their uncaring attitude has to do with attachment issues. There seem to be a lack of care for us and a strong sense of wanting to assert self will. That behavioral trait could be seen from early on. If they took something that was not theirs and I was nowhere around, they would not take responsibility for their actions, and would somehow try to take the focus off their action by placing the blame for their thief on me. They did not ever blame my husband for their behavior, but their indiscretions always had something to do with me. Well it certainly appeared that way based on their reasons for whatever acts they committed. One of the most disconcerting examples was when; I had one of my daughters arrested for stealing my car. I had a copy of a face book conversation where she discussed her intentions prior to taking the vehicle, yet in a discussion with her court officer, she told her, it was because I was harassing her. To my disbelief the court officer believed her. At the precise moment, she took my car; I was actually taking a shower. She had an appointment that day to go to the psychiatrist. I was getting ready to take her to that appointment but having a liaison was more pivotal to her; hence she ran off with my car. Just as, the devil would have it, everyone chose to believe her version of events.
The amazing part about that is that the girl has a history of delinquent behavior, and I have spent my entire life helping others, not committing crimes against humanity. Actually what transpired here seem more like fiction in the same manner my claims of being an angel can be considered ludicrous. Despite all these things, there are pleasant moments in my life. The majority of my children are actually honest, and I would say make an effort to follow in my footsteps. I am currently still majorly troubled with the things that transpired as a result of my daughter's defiance. I chose to do a variety of things with my children, and I enjoyed being along side them. So from my perspective none of them has any excuse. Any of them could have build on what they were given, and that one child, even in residential treatment still continue to choose to make choices that will ultimately cause her to have a lot of difficult throughout her life span. Ironically, she now blames her teachers for her actions. She even went as far as saying that it was one of her teachers that caused her to be insubordinate, and that she reminded her of me.
Below is a photo of my birth daughter and I, when she was elementary school aged.
Visit ruthspoetry.rahtimes.com/ for more on the Author.
The one thing I must say is she has an extremely pleasant personality and was able to become as beautiful on the inside as she is on the outside, which I believe is most valuable. For the first time, yesterday, my husband and I took her shopping just her and us. Our sons were off at a Boy Scout camp, and my other daughter was in a band competition. As we navigated our way from shop to shop, vendor after vendor kept trying to sell her something. I thought it peculiar because she is nothing more than a broke teenager, yet everyone approached her. Oddly enough, when we were in the stores, the scenario was pretty much the same. Although if I were to compare her personality to mine, she is by far more out going and probably more approachable than I am. I am a lot more reserved than she is.
I was extremely surprised, by the way, she handled the whole shopping with mom and dad experience. Not even once did she ask us to buy anything for her and even when I offered, she refused. She did say she did not want her dad to be upset if I spent too much money, on her. That is a lot different from any of my other daughters. The college age one exceeds her allowance month after month and is often indifferent to the limits my husband has set on her.
From attending therapy sessions with my other daughter, I have learned that a lot of their uncaring attitude has to do with attachment issues. There seem to be a lack of care for us and a strong sense of wanting to assert self will. That behavioral trait could be seen from early on. If they took something that was not theirs and I was nowhere around, they would not take responsibility for their actions, and would somehow try to take the focus off their action by placing the blame for their thief on me. They did not ever blame my husband for their behavior, but their indiscretions always had something to do with me. Well it certainly appeared that way based on their reasons for whatever acts they committed. One of the most disconcerting examples was when; I had one of my daughters arrested for stealing my car. I had a copy of a face book conversation where she discussed her intentions prior to taking the vehicle, yet in a discussion with her court officer, she told her, it was because I was harassing her. To my disbelief the court officer believed her. At the precise moment, she took my car; I was actually taking a shower. She had an appointment that day to go to the psychiatrist. I was getting ready to take her to that appointment but having a liaison was more pivotal to her; hence she ran off with my car. Just as, the devil would have it, everyone chose to believe her version of events.
The amazing part about that is that the girl has a history of delinquent behavior, and I have spent my entire life helping others, not committing crimes against humanity. Actually what transpired here seem more like fiction in the same manner my claims of being an angel can be considered ludicrous. Despite all these things, there are pleasant moments in my life. The majority of my children are actually honest, and I would say make an effort to follow in my footsteps. I am currently still majorly troubled with the things that transpired as a result of my daughter's defiance. I chose to do a variety of things with my children, and I enjoyed being along side them. So from my perspective none of them has any excuse. Any of them could have build on what they were given, and that one child, even in residential treatment still continue to choose to make choices that will ultimately cause her to have a lot of difficult throughout her life span. Ironically, she now blames her teachers for her actions. She even went as far as saying that it was one of her teachers that caused her to be insubordinate, and that she reminded her of me.
Below is a photo of my birth daughter and I, when she was elementary school aged.
Visit ruthspoetry.rahtimes.com/ for more on the Author.
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