My Resolve
It is time that I start living for myself. At first I lived for my parents then my children. Have you never heard the phase to your own self be true? I told my son today as I sent him off to school that even if the world around him starts to fall apart, he should concentrate on accomplishing the things that are before him. Sadly, he understood what I was saying. He is a highly sensitive child and is often upset by my distress, he has grieved for me, been frustrated with me and do not always favor my actions.
As I have watched so many couples around me dissolve their marriage, I have always thought it was out of selfishness. I am not declaring that this is what I am doing. At the present moment, I am only being thoughtful, but today I see things differently. I sincerely hope that there is absolutely no one that would willingly and easily terminate their marriage.
I think that I am a truly compassionate person and that time and time again that I have emptied myself for my family’s sake. When a person does this, they reach a place where they no longer have anything else they can provide. At this point, I am only doing what I believe is right, but I am not actually solving any issues. I feel that all my efforts are currently no different from Band-Aid therapy, essentially a temporary fix.
I cannot change or fix anyone. The only person I can effectively work on is me, and I have been suffering for a long time. I am pretty aware that because I am no longer singular that my decision would affect my children. That has caused me a great deal of concern, especially for my biological children. They have a natural love for me that, unfortunately, my adopted children do not. I realized that, although, I feel that I lived sacrificially for the sake of all my children; that without a moments notice, the chosen ones would chose to destroy me. The injustice of this is that all the repercussions then will fall on my birth children.
The one problem in choosing a relationship that is detrimental to me is that, I would be teaching them that it is OK for them to do the same. I would not want my daughter to choose to do what I am doing. I would want my son to become a problem solver. For my all my children, foremost to live to please God, but to also chose to do what they find contentment in and not live just to please other people.
This did not solely come about by the difficulty that my daughter caused. It did not help things and only served to increase my frustration. In the same manner that a City cannot be built or destroyed in one day, the same is true of our life. I am willing to take on all the blame if in the end I can live in peace because at the current moment, I am not.
Visit ruthspoetry.rahtimes.com/ for more on the Author.
As I have watched so many couples around me dissolve their marriage, I have always thought it was out of selfishness. I am not declaring that this is what I am doing. At the present moment, I am only being thoughtful, but today I see things differently. I sincerely hope that there is absolutely no one that would willingly and easily terminate their marriage.
I think that I am a truly compassionate person and that time and time again that I have emptied myself for my family’s sake. When a person does this, they reach a place where they no longer have anything else they can provide. At this point, I am only doing what I believe is right, but I am not actually solving any issues. I feel that all my efforts are currently no different from Band-Aid therapy, essentially a temporary fix.
I cannot change or fix anyone. The only person I can effectively work on is me, and I have been suffering for a long time. I am pretty aware that because I am no longer singular that my decision would affect my children. That has caused me a great deal of concern, especially for my biological children. They have a natural love for me that, unfortunately, my adopted children do not. I realized that, although, I feel that I lived sacrificially for the sake of all my children; that without a moments notice, the chosen ones would chose to destroy me. The injustice of this is that all the repercussions then will fall on my birth children.
The one problem in choosing a relationship that is detrimental to me is that, I would be teaching them that it is OK for them to do the same. I would not want my daughter to choose to do what I am doing. I would want my son to become a problem solver. For my all my children, foremost to live to please God, but to also chose to do what they find contentment in and not live just to please other people.
This did not solely come about by the difficulty that my daughter caused. It did not help things and only served to increase my frustration. In the same manner that a City cannot be built or destroyed in one day, the same is true of our life. I am willing to take on all the blame if in the end I can live in peace because at the current moment, I am not.
Visit ruthspoetry.rahtimes.com/ for more on the Author.
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