Troubled
I am at a cross road in my life where for the actual first time, I am considering what I want out of life. I've lived my life pleasing others and pushed all I wanted for myself on the back burner. Wanting to please my parents, then my spouse and children and even God has left me completely unhappy.
Earlier on in my life I thought, I was doing what God wanted me to. Today, I am still a little confused on that subject. I am troubled and a little apprehensive. In considering my well-being, I fear that I am being selfish. My children's interest should be more important, but the truth is I have growing concerns about my own safety.
The teenage years seem to be an extremely pivotal time in the life of a child. Their identity is forming, and decisions they make can scar or determine their future. Teenagers concentrate a lot on self and do not seem to stop to think of how their behavior impacts those around them. There are behaviors that nurture relationships and ones that ruin them and others that make life outright uncomfortable.
It has not been easy raising my adopted children. There have been challenges every step of the way. That is the reality of the situation. For the most part, I did the best that I could do but felt extremely unsupported by my spouse. This is an enormous problem for me and has caused this process to be even more difficult. It is not easy being a martyr and everyone wants to feel loved and affirmed. It is difficult to persistently give when that is expected. It is even worse when one is not getting in return. I do understand with children that these things may not be immediate. It is my conviction that in a marriage that it is the husband responsibility to love, protect and nurture his marital relationship. It is not a pleasant thing when a woman feels insecure in her own home. Unfortunately, that is where I am. I worry about my children and would not want to do anything to hurt them but right now I have greater concerns.
Visit ruthspoetry.rahtimes.com/ for more on the Author.
Earlier on in my life I thought, I was doing what God wanted me to. Today, I am still a little confused on that subject. I am troubled and a little apprehensive. In considering my well-being, I fear that I am being selfish. My children's interest should be more important, but the truth is I have growing concerns about my own safety.
The teenage years seem to be an extremely pivotal time in the life of a child. Their identity is forming, and decisions they make can scar or determine their future. Teenagers concentrate a lot on self and do not seem to stop to think of how their behavior impacts those around them. There are behaviors that nurture relationships and ones that ruin them and others that make life outright uncomfortable.
It has not been easy raising my adopted children. There have been challenges every step of the way. That is the reality of the situation. For the most part, I did the best that I could do but felt extremely unsupported by my spouse. This is an enormous problem for me and has caused this process to be even more difficult. It is not easy being a martyr and everyone wants to feel loved and affirmed. It is difficult to persistently give when that is expected. It is even worse when one is not getting in return. I do understand with children that these things may not be immediate. It is my conviction that in a marriage that it is the husband responsibility to love, protect and nurture his marital relationship. It is not a pleasant thing when a woman feels insecure in her own home. Unfortunately, that is where I am. I worry about my children and would not want to do anything to hurt them but right now I have greater concerns.
Visit ruthspoetry.rahtimes.com/ for more on the Author.
Comments
Post a Comment