My Story!
There are two sides to every story, and it takes the effort of two people for there to be healthy relationship. A single person cannot solely influence the direction of a relationship, it takes both parties. I cannot tell your story; only mine and my view probably differ from yours. Without communicating, all I can do is form my own conclusions or write your account from my perspective. If I am constantly reaching out to a person and if all my efforts do not elicit a response then I would logically conclude that, I am not loved or wanted by this person.
At the last counseling session, I had with my daughter, I told her; I will no longer be as involved with her treatment. I will entrust her care and parenting to my husband. As per her own testimony, he is more supportive of her. From the moment, I became her mother; I placed a tremendous amount of effort in mothering her. From the start, she did not appear to be particularly cognizant of my efforts. Although, I have heard her say that she knows that I was the only person her actions truly affected. I was there continuously pouring out myself for her benefit, but I was never the object of her desire. Eventually, I became the person she taught was hindering her from reaching her goals. With that she initially started blaming me for her actions. As her behavior escalated, I hospitalized her several times. After a series of failed intervention and simultaneously trying for her to keep up with her education, she ended up in a place where she met some unsavory characters. At one point, she ran off and was staying with a person she met in that program. Still being her mother I did not want something horrible to happen to her. So at that point I had a mental health warrant issued for her. Of course, she did not take very well to that. She was already angry with me, and I can actually empathize with her. I imagine she felt unheard, pretty much the way I feel right now. The only difference is all of my actions were for her protection, not to cause her harm. She did not receive it that way and instead of seeing me as her protector, she regards me as an obstacle. Something she needs to overcome or get rid of. After I conveyed my decision to step out of the way, that too was also a problem.
For me, my greatest difficulty was that, as her parents, we could have taken some significant steps to prevent all this. However, my hands were tied because these decisions involved spending large amounts of money. I needed my husband support, but he had difficulty acknowledging there were any issues. We had fights after fights because he sided with the girl and her claims that I was wrongly accusing her of the things she was actually involved in. When she would momentarily had a stroke of remorse she admitted to lying in order to get her own way. He said that the girl's apology was confidential and for me not to say anything about it. Stupidly, I did exactly as I was told. That was both noble and foolish of me. I later, realized this was the way, it has always been. Whether he chooses to protect or not protect them, it is always to the detriment of me. Things are a lot different this time because the child literally placed me in danger. I have honestly tried and have battled within myself not wanting to give up. I am certainly not a martyr, and if I ever were, I am no longer willing to be. This is the reason that it is crucial that I leave.
God Speaking!
Visit ruthspoetry.rahtimes.com/ for more on the Author.
At the last counseling session, I had with my daughter, I told her; I will no longer be as involved with her treatment. I will entrust her care and parenting to my husband. As per her own testimony, he is more supportive of her. From the moment, I became her mother; I placed a tremendous amount of effort in mothering her. From the start, she did not appear to be particularly cognizant of my efforts. Although, I have heard her say that she knows that I was the only person her actions truly affected. I was there continuously pouring out myself for her benefit, but I was never the object of her desire. Eventually, I became the person she taught was hindering her from reaching her goals. With that she initially started blaming me for her actions. As her behavior escalated, I hospitalized her several times. After a series of failed intervention and simultaneously trying for her to keep up with her education, she ended up in a place where she met some unsavory characters. At one point, she ran off and was staying with a person she met in that program. Still being her mother I did not want something horrible to happen to her. So at that point I had a mental health warrant issued for her. Of course, she did not take very well to that. She was already angry with me, and I can actually empathize with her. I imagine she felt unheard, pretty much the way I feel right now. The only difference is all of my actions were for her protection, not to cause her harm. She did not receive it that way and instead of seeing me as her protector, she regards me as an obstacle. Something she needs to overcome or get rid of. After I conveyed my decision to step out of the way, that too was also a problem.
For me, my greatest difficulty was that, as her parents, we could have taken some significant steps to prevent all this. However, my hands were tied because these decisions involved spending large amounts of money. I needed my husband support, but he had difficulty acknowledging there were any issues. We had fights after fights because he sided with the girl and her claims that I was wrongly accusing her of the things she was actually involved in. When she would momentarily had a stroke of remorse she admitted to lying in order to get her own way. He said that the girl's apology was confidential and for me not to say anything about it. Stupidly, I did exactly as I was told. That was both noble and foolish of me. I later, realized this was the way, it has always been. Whether he chooses to protect or not protect them, it is always to the detriment of me. Things are a lot different this time because the child literally placed me in danger. I have honestly tried and have battled within myself not wanting to give up. I am certainly not a martyr, and if I ever were, I am no longer willing to be. This is the reason that it is crucial that I leave.
God Speaking!
Visit ruthspoetry.rahtimes.com/ for more on the Author.
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