The Reason
Outcome and the things I strived for are often different. For this reason, I often feel as if I do not get the things I want in life. I do not measure my success based on the material things I have accumulated but on the things I desired to do. I know I am not alone in not having done the kind or work I wanted to. I am also aware that I did get to do a little of what I wanted just not on the scale, I intended.
I invested away too much in my intent to the detriment of relationships. In relationships, I do the same to the detriment of me. As a result, I become way more disappointed or hurt than the average person would be. I am also fully cognizant that frequently I tend to determine how others will respond by how someone else did. I know people are individuals and what one person does at times differ from another. Yet it is difficult for me to isolate one from the other. The result is that I penalize one person for the actions of others. I guess sort of like ethnic profiling. Not that I do this based on ethnicity but the depth of my disappointment. When I do not get the desired outcome, I shy away from repeating those same actions. I may not repeat my exact experience, but the disappointments at times feel recurring.
To protect myself from being let down, I often shy away from asking for help for myself. Then again, I was always like that; hence I paid my way through college without any assistance. The problem with being this way is that I become fatigue and burn out quite frequently. This is one of the things in life that is a constant problem and in the past has caused me to make choices I would not have other-wise made. I am enormously aware of this and that I also refrain from communicating graphically about my challenges. Although I understand this, my apprehensions are greater. Although, I do have a bond with those that I do confide. On occasion, I have misjudge others. Right now this is weighing heavily on my mind, it is causing me to be overly cautious.
This is one of my favorite songs and in general I lose myself in listening to music but at this time it did not quite help but I am sure you will like it. http://youtu.be/zvhrPMJe8LE
Visit ruthspoetry.rahtimes.com/ for more on the Author.
I invested away too much in my intent to the detriment of relationships. In relationships, I do the same to the detriment of me. As a result, I become way more disappointed or hurt than the average person would be. I am also fully cognizant that frequently I tend to determine how others will respond by how someone else did. I know people are individuals and what one person does at times differ from another. Yet it is difficult for me to isolate one from the other. The result is that I penalize one person for the actions of others. I guess sort of like ethnic profiling. Not that I do this based on ethnicity but the depth of my disappointment. When I do not get the desired outcome, I shy away from repeating those same actions. I may not repeat my exact experience, but the disappointments at times feel recurring.
To protect myself from being let down, I often shy away from asking for help for myself. Then again, I was always like that; hence I paid my way through college without any assistance. The problem with being this way is that I become fatigue and burn out quite frequently. This is one of the things in life that is a constant problem and in the past has caused me to make choices I would not have other-wise made. I am enormously aware of this and that I also refrain from communicating graphically about my challenges. Although I understand this, my apprehensions are greater. Although, I do have a bond with those that I do confide. On occasion, I have misjudge others. Right now this is weighing heavily on my mind, it is causing me to be overly cautious.
This is one of my favorite songs and in general I lose myself in listening to music but at this time it did not quite help but I am sure you will like it. http://youtu.be/zvhrPMJe8LE
Visit ruthspoetry.rahtimes.com/ for more on the Author.
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