This is it!
I write poetry about my hurt, and I blog about it, but to what pain, am I referring? Well, I am thoroughly grieved by the fact that my people did not recognize me. That my God has denied and turned away from me. Why should I have had to declare whose child I was, or say what I am? Even with that, it made no difference to him and those he chose. They refuse to love me, to be kind to me, just as he. Why could those not accept me as what I appeared to be? Why did I have to turn to an outsider for help? No one could never understand how excruciatingly painful this is.
Is it sincerely unbelievable that a person in this country could be wrongly accused? After such refusal, how could I forgive those I asked for help? Yet, I would seem like a bitter being if I do not forgive, but if I do I would be hurting myself. That is if I unreservedly forgive, then partner with them.
I literally pressured my husband into giving me the money I needed, in order that, I could pay to get the help I wanted. This has caused me to be more anxious and heartbroken, than I already am. I hate being deceitful. I tried calling several local attorneys, but none was interested in my case. Believe me, the choice I made was the only one I had. That is the way; I feel my entire experience here has been. As a direct result of my hurt, and the desertion of all those concerned, I just need to finish this and leave.
To come to me or to accept me after this is all said and done is not love or acceptance. Everyone had a choice, and whoever I asked for help, they were all unwilling to help. That is what saddens me most. My greatest fear is that I will fail myself. Embrace those, when they finally come around. To me, to show up any time after this is not love for me, but clearly it would be only to use me. Even I want to be loved and accepted just for me, and not for anything else.
I asked my defender to keep my troubles out of the press, but I fear that will not happen. This fellow business thrives based on all the press he gets. After all that was how, I heard of him. I would say to pray for me, but this is beyond prayer. If you do, pray that I may not let myself down and that I may stand firmly.
For more of Ruth's poetry purchase, Fantasy/Controversy or My Reality.
Is it sincerely unbelievable that a person in this country could be wrongly accused? After such refusal, how could I forgive those I asked for help? Yet, I would seem like a bitter being if I do not forgive, but if I do I would be hurting myself. That is if I unreservedly forgive, then partner with them.
I literally pressured my husband into giving me the money I needed, in order that, I could pay to get the help I wanted. This has caused me to be more anxious and heartbroken, than I already am. I hate being deceitful. I tried calling several local attorneys, but none was interested in my case. Believe me, the choice I made was the only one I had. That is the way; I feel my entire experience here has been. As a direct result of my hurt, and the desertion of all those concerned, I just need to finish this and leave.
To come to me or to accept me after this is all said and done is not love or acceptance. Everyone had a choice, and whoever I asked for help, they were all unwilling to help. That is what saddens me most. My greatest fear is that I will fail myself. Embrace those, when they finally come around. To me, to show up any time after this is not love for me, but clearly it would be only to use me. Even I want to be loved and accepted just for me, and not for anything else.
I asked my defender to keep my troubles out of the press, but I fear that will not happen. This fellow business thrives based on all the press he gets. After all that was how, I heard of him. I would say to pray for me, but this is beyond prayer. If you do, pray that I may not let myself down and that I may stand firmly.
For more of Ruth's poetry purchase, Fantasy/Controversy or My Reality.
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