All My Doings!
I inadvertently attached myself to a man because I had become weary. That was primarily my fault. I never truly honestly wanted the help of any man. I still feel that the only person who should help me is the one who is exactly like me. In the same manner, my husband and my opinion differ so does his and mine. I caused myself to be abandoned by choosing to take unto consideration, the fact that I am different from those around me. I am the one who set my self apart. Even God in all his splendor and glory has helpers.
A significant problem is that I do not appreciate intent but more the effect that behavior’s produce. I think to harp on someone’s actions is also destructive, so I often ignore behaviors. That is the reason; I generally prefer to move on. The truth is I tried to solicit the help of one, but because he does not agree that he should be the person to help, he has refused me help. I once said that because he had chosen to concentrate on those around him that this has caused me to be alone. That was true for quite a while but is no longer so. The third one that has joined us is as a result of my reproducing. My youngest son is the same as me. At this moment, he is too young to help me but at least that should enable me to get my mind off the other. I am only now processing these things as I go through this.
I truly feel that I was right to have kept myself separate, simply because of the out come of this marriage. I do not know if my husband is the ideal example of men, but he is the only one that I know. With that, I do not know that I would ever want to form such a partnership again. The problem I am now facing is that I ruined my capability of taking care of myself, when I chose to give up my career. Now I am in a pickle! I also feel that if I leave from here, I would be on my own, without a job. I could be wrong, but I believe that my husband would temporarily cut me off until we reached a settlement. Well I guess, I made this decision, and I put the horse ahead of the carriage by declaring the future. With that, I think I have no other option but to stay here and endure, until such time.
A significant problem is that I do not appreciate intent but more the effect that behavior’s produce. I think to harp on someone’s actions is also destructive, so I often ignore behaviors. That is the reason; I generally prefer to move on. The truth is I tried to solicit the help of one, but because he does not agree that he should be the person to help, he has refused me help. I once said that because he had chosen to concentrate on those around him that this has caused me to be alone. That was true for quite a while but is no longer so. The third one that has joined us is as a result of my reproducing. My youngest son is the same as me. At this moment, he is too young to help me but at least that should enable me to get my mind off the other. I am only now processing these things as I go through this.
I truly feel that I was right to have kept myself separate, simply because of the out come of this marriage. I do not know if my husband is the ideal example of men, but he is the only one that I know. With that, I do not know that I would ever want to form such a partnership again. The problem I am now facing is that I ruined my capability of taking care of myself, when I chose to give up my career. Now I am in a pickle! I also feel that if I leave from here, I would be on my own, without a job. I could be wrong, but I believe that my husband would temporarily cut me off until we reached a settlement. Well I guess, I made this decision, and I put the horse ahead of the carriage by declaring the future. With that, I think I have no other option but to stay here and endure, until such time.
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