Expected Better From Him!
I am disappointed and grieved with my marital relationship, and equally so by the lack of understanding of those that I did reveal myself to. Yet I have no genuine issues with any of these. I understand that, this was not intentional on their part, they just did not know any better. All my issues lay with the one that is the same kind of being as I am. The doctor who choose to train me to assist him, when he could have chosen anyone out of the many, and did choose and now replaced was pictorial of our relationship before I came into being and now as we are. It is not the same as that of lovers, friends or married partners. I was simply the person he chose to work with, at that time. Once I left that environment, I was cut off entirely. Choosing now only to relate to me as spiritual beings.
I take insult to it because I know that except for maybe one person, no one can validate my claims and ironically I believe this to be the one he chose. In these writings, I can be viewed as some desperate, insane woman that is lashing out because they got used and dumped, but that is not the case at all. Yes, I will admit that I am angry and now resent him immensely, but it is not because he chose another. It is that everything that is mine even in the spiritual and literal sense is attributed to as being belonging to someone else. Even in the writings of Isaiah, God's relationship with Jerusalem and his claims of deserting them was meant as a literary picture of the reality of us. The picture that John saw of the New Jerusalem is another example. New, because who I am now, is so different from the being, I once was. His followers have no idea or understanding and have assigned my place to themselves. When it was written to pray for me, they pray for the City that was named after me. That is what I am upset about. That is a small fraction of the extent of why I feel, he has literally deserted me. He does not even care enough to want to correct this injustice nor to provide me the least bit of comfort or to be merciful and kind to me.
Those things were meant for all of you. Those promises of grace, love and mercy were meant for the descendants of Adam's race. I am one of the provision or sacrifice through which they would receive grace. With that, he does not see it fit to extend those things to me. There is no need for me to see the magnificent. The manner I would be restored was long decided, and from my perspective, it is without honor. There are some things I see as being wrong and dishonoring, no matter, the reason or the time. It is still wrong and disrespectful. For I am no longer what I was and to do certain things, that offends what I now am, is wrong. Regardless if, that was not the intent, knowing these things is what produced my feelings of hurt, abandonment and rejection. Like many times in the past, no matter how much I object and express myself, my concerns are not, and will be taken into consideration.
I know that the majority of my ancestors are of Hebrew origin, but when I stand singularly, no one knows that. If I do not say, who my parents are, it is not discernible. My chore truly is to take on the plight of the people who I outwardly represent. What angers me is that knowing my true identity, not in the professional arena, but on the personal level, he treats me in the same manner human that sees themselves as superior response to one that they view as inferior. This kind of behavior I expect from man but not from God. By the obscurity of my identity and the truth, concerning the way I was treated has caused me to feel, that it is he who deceived the nations.
Isaiah's prophecies were given him from the perspective of the Almighty God. I read those things and my view differs. It is written that I will not be ashamed concerning the way he has chosen to re-establish me, but that is not true. At this present moment, I can tell you that I am sadden to hear that I would have compromised my convictions and in so doing, I would not be ashamed. I can explain this in more details, but for the sake of others, I will refrain.
Everything that happened and will happen here is for a purpose even the desertion of me. I am hurt by it. He made provisions for David and Joseph, but he did not do that for me. I am not belittling their struggles but to make their burden lighter, he gave them favor. I can tell you that he did not do that for me. If, in the future, any chooses to believe me that is the one thing I want to be made known. He blesses those that are his direct support. Only when, I avail myself for him to utilize would he be gracious to me. Not that I will no longer be grieved by his lack of compassion because, I know he has me labeled as his servant. For this precise reason, as disappointed as I am with men, I chose not to hold their actions against them. I expected that from them, but certainly not the one who claims that his ways are much higher than theirs.
Have you ever refused a gift or would you reject a gift if you had to compromise your integrity? What if you were representing your people and you knew all their struggles, and what they would consider an insult, would you accept a payment knowing it was being handed to you in a way that was demeaning to all those you represent? Would it not give you cause to question if, this is how he regards all these people. I do not know if I could convey to you the extent to which this has grieved me. All I can do is attempt to give my honest opinion to you, and say that I not only grieve for myself, I cry for all of you. If he can do this to me and I am as he, does he then too purposefully turn his back to all of them? He does not attend unto my cry and refuses to change his ways and to change his plans, so is he ever merciful and kind to any of them? I honestly do not know! Yet the purpose of judgement is to do precisely that, but it is unbearable for me.
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I take insult to it because I know that except for maybe one person, no one can validate my claims and ironically I believe this to be the one he chose. In these writings, I can be viewed as some desperate, insane woman that is lashing out because they got used and dumped, but that is not the case at all. Yes, I will admit that I am angry and now resent him immensely, but it is not because he chose another. It is that everything that is mine even in the spiritual and literal sense is attributed to as being belonging to someone else. Even in the writings of Isaiah, God's relationship with Jerusalem and his claims of deserting them was meant as a literary picture of the reality of us. The picture that John saw of the New Jerusalem is another example. New, because who I am now, is so different from the being, I once was. His followers have no idea or understanding and have assigned my place to themselves. When it was written to pray for me, they pray for the City that was named after me. That is what I am upset about. That is a small fraction of the extent of why I feel, he has literally deserted me. He does not even care enough to want to correct this injustice nor to provide me the least bit of comfort or to be merciful and kind to me.
Those things were meant for all of you. Those promises of grace, love and mercy were meant for the descendants of Adam's race. I am one of the provision or sacrifice through which they would receive grace. With that, he does not see it fit to extend those things to me. There is no need for me to see the magnificent. The manner I would be restored was long decided, and from my perspective, it is without honor. There are some things I see as being wrong and dishonoring, no matter, the reason or the time. It is still wrong and disrespectful. For I am no longer what I was and to do certain things, that offends what I now am, is wrong. Regardless if, that was not the intent, knowing these things is what produced my feelings of hurt, abandonment and rejection. Like many times in the past, no matter how much I object and express myself, my concerns are not, and will be taken into consideration.
I know that the majority of my ancestors are of Hebrew origin, but when I stand singularly, no one knows that. If I do not say, who my parents are, it is not discernible. My chore truly is to take on the plight of the people who I outwardly represent. What angers me is that knowing my true identity, not in the professional arena, but on the personal level, he treats me in the same manner human that sees themselves as superior response to one that they view as inferior. This kind of behavior I expect from man but not from God. By the obscurity of my identity and the truth, concerning the way I was treated has caused me to feel, that it is he who deceived the nations.
Isaiah's prophecies were given him from the perspective of the Almighty God. I read those things and my view differs. It is written that I will not be ashamed concerning the way he has chosen to re-establish me, but that is not true. At this present moment, I can tell you that I am sadden to hear that I would have compromised my convictions and in so doing, I would not be ashamed. I can explain this in more details, but for the sake of others, I will refrain.
Everything that happened and will happen here is for a purpose even the desertion of me. I am hurt by it. He made provisions for David and Joseph, but he did not do that for me. I am not belittling their struggles but to make their burden lighter, he gave them favor. I can tell you that he did not do that for me. If, in the future, any chooses to believe me that is the one thing I want to be made known. He blesses those that are his direct support. Only when, I avail myself for him to utilize would he be gracious to me. Not that I will no longer be grieved by his lack of compassion because, I know he has me labeled as his servant. For this precise reason, as disappointed as I am with men, I chose not to hold their actions against them. I expected that from them, but certainly not the one who claims that his ways are much higher than theirs.
Have you ever refused a gift or would you reject a gift if you had to compromise your integrity? What if you were representing your people and you knew all their struggles, and what they would consider an insult, would you accept a payment knowing it was being handed to you in a way that was demeaning to all those you represent? Would it not give you cause to question if, this is how he regards all these people. I do not know if I could convey to you the extent to which this has grieved me. All I can do is attempt to give my honest opinion to you, and say that I not only grieve for myself, I cry for all of you. If he can do this to me and I am as he, does he then too purposefully turn his back to all of them? He does not attend unto my cry and refuses to change his ways and to change his plans, so is he ever merciful and kind to any of them? I honestly do not know! Yet the purpose of judgement is to do precisely that, but it is unbearable for me.
Visit ruthspoetry.rahtimes.com/ for more on the Author.
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