Simply Confused!

I am just scared!
I think I would be secure,
But only if I were with him.
I came here to understand.
Yet it resulted in my confusion.
The only one I have ever been with.
Has left me feeling deserted.
Not that I do not know that he has,
His part to do in all of this, I am aware.
I battle daily with having lost him.
The disappointment of losing you also.
The reality is that I am different from you.
I can identify with him, for we are one.
If I cry, that will not bring him to my side.
I know for I have cried and cried!
Like you, he too has simply refused.
Do not want to turn my back, but I feel I must.
For it is true the both of you have hurt me significantly.
 
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