Passion v.s. Trust!

Truth is I love him, want to be with him.
Struggling, because of him, man of my desire.
Lord of my life, friend, non-relative, rejected, loved,
Shown, treated horribly, yet it is him, who I promised
To run to, find love and comfort in, will have to prove
That he loves me, or I will not stay, for the conflict;
The draw is to be with the lover of my soul, he who,
Once loved me from days of old is confusing me.
Caught between obligation, longings, obedience,
To do as I am instructed. I want to rewrite the past,
Change the future, for as much as I ache for him, I am,
Devasted because of him. How can I trust him?
Here our relationship is unknown, but for another, he is known.
At home in that place where the street is paved with gold,
Zion has a king and I am the other that sat next to him.
How can I desert him for a creature that failed to love me for me?
Now that I know life's filled with twists, how can I actually trust,
That it is the ordinary girl and not the one he chose, he loves.
Although, in my heavenly rank, he was mine and I was his.
With that I ponder if I should just sit around and wait for the King,
For the time when he would be more accepting of me, his heavenly Queen.

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