No Need to buy Flowers Anymore!
I perceive anything that opposes God as being evil. I know my mind set has also created some of the issues I have in my marriage. The misunderstanding of God and what it is that he expects of us is also an issue.
Often times my husband has said to me, “I know you see my intent as being evil, but I do not do things intentionally to hurt you.” Honestly, what matters most to me is the result and those behavior resulted in a significant amount of intense pain for me.
There are things that most people do when looking for a relationship. If they want to keep the relationship, then they work towards that. Whatever is most essential that is what we seek out. If it is acceptance of other people, then we work at doing things to gain their approval.
I feel that my husband has been extremely comfortable for an awful long time with our relationship, to the extent where I am taken for granted. He makes small effort at times when I complain and after a short time, he goes back to being himself. Things are the way they are not because he knows me but because he knows my convictions. He knows that I hate divorce. So then if no matter what, I stay and suffer through it, what does he care as long as I do not leave? I am fully aware that for my daughter’s sake that I need to be here. The difficulty of that is that by doing so, I feel that I am enabling his behavior, as he does hers. Although, I never told him that I was ever Ok with his. From the very beginning, this has all been for the benefit of my children. Several years ago I had sat them down and said I would file for a divorce.
My oldest daughter, who was at that time extremely quiet, said to me, “The only normal thing in my life is your marriage and you promise me, you would not leave me.” To her it felt like, I was divorcing her. It was not her, but her feelings mattered to me, so I receded. I believe that if someone cares and if their actions are hurtful to another and they communicate that, if you do not cease the behavior, then it is because there is a lack of caring. At this moment in time, because that daughter is in college, I feel that my job here is finished. I am aware that the child that is in residential treatment remains broken, and that is a real issue for me. The situation here though is different because her progress is stalled because my marital relationship is so eroded.
As I am writing this at my kitchen counter, I am mindful of something he did for me that was meant to be generous on his part. One Valentines day, he brought me several rose bushes and planted them out side our kitchen door. He then told me, he was doing this so that he did not constantly have to keep buying me flowers. With that, true to his word, he might have brought me flowers three times in the last seven years. I am not complaining about the roses bushes. They are currently blooming and exceedingly beautiful. My point is, he missed the purpose for which such an act was intended. It is enough to have to nurture seven young lives but having to deal with foolishness is too exhausting.
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Often times my husband has said to me, “I know you see my intent as being evil, but I do not do things intentionally to hurt you.” Honestly, what matters most to me is the result and those behavior resulted in a significant amount of intense pain for me.
There are things that most people do when looking for a relationship. If they want to keep the relationship, then they work towards that. Whatever is most essential that is what we seek out. If it is acceptance of other people, then we work at doing things to gain their approval.
I feel that my husband has been extremely comfortable for an awful long time with our relationship, to the extent where I am taken for granted. He makes small effort at times when I complain and after a short time, he goes back to being himself. Things are the way they are not because he knows me but because he knows my convictions. He knows that I hate divorce. So then if no matter what, I stay and suffer through it, what does he care as long as I do not leave? I am fully aware that for my daughter’s sake that I need to be here. The difficulty of that is that by doing so, I feel that I am enabling his behavior, as he does hers. Although, I never told him that I was ever Ok with his. From the very beginning, this has all been for the benefit of my children. Several years ago I had sat them down and said I would file for a divorce.
My oldest daughter, who was at that time extremely quiet, said to me, “The only normal thing in my life is your marriage and you promise me, you would not leave me.” To her it felt like, I was divorcing her. It was not her, but her feelings mattered to me, so I receded. I believe that if someone cares and if their actions are hurtful to another and they communicate that, if you do not cease the behavior, then it is because there is a lack of caring. At this moment in time, because that daughter is in college, I feel that my job here is finished. I am aware that the child that is in residential treatment remains broken, and that is a real issue for me. The situation here though is different because her progress is stalled because my marital relationship is so eroded.
As I am writing this at my kitchen counter, I am mindful of something he did for me that was meant to be generous on his part. One Valentines day, he brought me several rose bushes and planted them out side our kitchen door. He then told me, he was doing this so that he did not constantly have to keep buying me flowers. With that, true to his word, he might have brought me flowers three times in the last seven years. I am not complaining about the roses bushes. They are currently blooming and exceedingly beautiful. My point is, he missed the purpose for which such an act was intended. It is enough to have to nurture seven young lives but having to deal with foolishness is too exhausting.
Visit ruthspoetry.rahtimes.com/ for more on the Author.
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