Clarity!
The way people some times portray them self is not always, how they are. As I contemplate the things that have happened in my life, I ponder the intent of another. Why were certain things told me? Why was I told that a particular individual would help me? I certainly now believe that I do understand. It had nothing to do with that individual, but more to do with my perception of him. If I sincerely believed he would assist me and he did not, it would most certainly change my view and jeopardize his intended purpose. I am sadden by that and feel that was terribly underhanded. Who other than one that knows me better than I know myself would do something like that.
I form bond or relation with people based on their rejection or acceptance of me. Once I remove myself emotionally there is generally little hope that a bond would be reestablished. A person can rationalize their responses for all eternity, and it would not mean a thing to me. To avoid those precise reactions, I do not often turn to others; I try to do for myself. I generally over extend myself in order that there are no excuses before I finally do cut a person off. I protect those that I genuinely care about sometimes by avoidance. When I do turn to a loved one to ask for help, it is because I desperately need their help. If I did not get the help, I thought I so desperately needed from that person; it changes my opinion of them. I honestly do not ask anything of anyone, that they are incapable of doing. It does grieves me terribly when I am rejected because I know myself, and I know that I will keep moving on with life, but that I lost a person. It does sadden me every time that happens, in the same way it grieves God every time, he loses a soul. Whatever it is God always accomplish his purpose. There are times when he has to replace people.
There are some that would intentionally hurt others for their own benefit, but I am not one of those. I sorrow every time; I misjudge someone, for the ramification of turning to the wrong person is too severe. Temporary earthly separation or union is nothing in comparison to an eternal one.
For more of Ruth's poetry purchase, Fantasy/Controversy or My Reality.
I form bond or relation with people based on their rejection or acceptance of me. Once I remove myself emotionally there is generally little hope that a bond would be reestablished. A person can rationalize their responses for all eternity, and it would not mean a thing to me. To avoid those precise reactions, I do not often turn to others; I try to do for myself. I generally over extend myself in order that there are no excuses before I finally do cut a person off. I protect those that I genuinely care about sometimes by avoidance. When I do turn to a loved one to ask for help, it is because I desperately need their help. If I did not get the help, I thought I so desperately needed from that person; it changes my opinion of them. I honestly do not ask anything of anyone, that they are incapable of doing. It does grieves me terribly when I am rejected because I know myself, and I know that I will keep moving on with life, but that I lost a person. It does sadden me every time that happens, in the same way it grieves God every time, he loses a soul. Whatever it is God always accomplish his purpose. There are times when he has to replace people.
There are some that would intentionally hurt others for their own benefit, but I am not one of those. I sorrow every time; I misjudge someone, for the ramification of turning to the wrong person is too severe. Temporary earthly separation or union is nothing in comparison to an eternal one.
For more of Ruth's poetry purchase, Fantasy/Controversy or My Reality.
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