Deed not Simply Words!

While I worked as a nurse in the emergency room, about once a month, an individual would always come there. He would always seek me out and fall all over me, washing in tears. He would often take my hands and place it on his back as if, he was seeking healing. After he had made it a habit of doing that, I began to find it quite annoying. I in general avoided being touched by anyone.

When they did, I would say, please, do not touch me. After I had resigned, he came to mind. I wondered who he would seek out, if anyone. At that time, I was still oblivious to my own being, although, I had some awareness. If I were fully aware, I would have told him the other also worked in the same place.

There are individuals that I would touch in that very manner for the same purpose. I am generally not presumptuous and acutely discrete, when I comfort others. I can provide support to others, but can hardly do so for myself. I did not come here to heal or for my own benefit. During Jesus’ first appearance, it was said that, others he saved but himself, he cannot. Well the purpose of his coming here was not to save himself, so he could not. I can safe guard myself against the unseen, but not always against fleshy beings. God can up lift my spirit, but as with any man, with help I can accomplish more in life.

Faith is not a series of magic words, it is doing and believing intertwined. Healing can be achieved through prayer and medicine and in some cases through nature. I know the dangers of being in denial. Being vigilant is a lot wiser than sitting around, waiting for someone to come and offer assistance.

From being on earth, I did learned not to put my trust in men. Perhaps I learned not to rely on men based on the people that were placed in my early life. However, what I do remember was being sincerely loved, protected and accepted by them, early on in life. I feel that I lost all that as time went on.

All of a sudden people that I felt accepted me once before no longer avail themself to me. I know for some the acceptance was based on what they got from having a relationship with me. Others have simply moved on, and some ignore me simply because of their own ignorance.

Call it pride or whatever, I do not correct people's folly, nor do I waste time begging. I may ask once, and that is enough. I am intolerant of ignorance. I sincerely do not treat any person different from how I would treat my relatives. Some times as a person, I do become inundated with my issues, and that may cause me to refrain from helping others. I cannot even apologize for that because that comes with being human. That may be true of others also.

I found one man’s monthly visits to the emergency room, overwhelming. What would have happened had it been the masses, the way it was with Jesus. I am a lesser being than he and I could never take on what he did. Every once in a while, I stopped to take part in missions but that too became difficult. I found taking care of seven children extremely unmanigable because I was faced with opposition. Something had to give, and that thing became my physical health. Hence as, I became frustrated and stress out, I had to deal with more challenging physically illness. Unfortunately, it may or may not have affected the rest of my life and my purpose.

I did see my physician today. She agreed that further studies needed to be done before any kind of treatment can be offered me. This is in reference to my being diagnosed with Lobular carcinoma in situ. This means, I am at risk for developing cancer in the lobes of my breast.

For more of Ruth's poetry purchase, Fantasy/Controversy or My Reality.