My Error!
Today, I am so exhausted and a little frustrated. I wanted everything to be in place before my surgery on Monday. Also despite whatever, I said, concerning my relationship with my husband, I continue to support him. Yesterday, I ran around getting my hair styled, eye-brows threaded, and selected the right outfit, in order to attend his company’s holiday party. I said that I would relax this week so as not to go into surgery exhausted. Yet, between yesterday’s and today’s activities, I am totally wiped out.
The company he works for is like fortune number 2 and their parties are always so elegant and fun. I know quite a few people that work there and I enjoy catching up with them once in a while.
On Thursday, I was trying to keep close tabs to see if my doctors got all my lab results that were needed before my procedure. Her physician assistant was also keeping tabs and trying to put everything together. I decided that I would leave it in her hands and focus on getting ready for last night's party. With that, I did not have time to check my e-mails yesterday. I did a few moments ago to find that all my results were not sent to where they should have been. Today is Saturday and most offices are closed; therefore, there is not a whole lot, I can do.
I seriously do not know why I continue to support people that are not as emotionally supportive of me. I know this is my pattern. I do for others, and I know that tomorrow; my husband will still leave to go away on business. I am frustrated about it, but some of this is my fault. I tell myself that I am not going to do this anymore. I will not be as gracious and committed to another person because I am yet to meet another being that would willingly do the same for me. Even if, they wanted to, at this point, I need to protect myself. With that, I am cutting everyone else off, because I have seriously had enough. Right now even my father seem extraordinarily ungracious and unkind to me. If he were kind, why would he only allow someone that is just a friend to be the only person willing to avail herself to me at this time? I am totally baffled by his and my partner's indifference. Why is it that he promises only to come to me at a more favorable time? He has been more like a fair-weather friend to me than a true lover of me or my soul.
The company he works for is like fortune number 2 and their parties are always so elegant and fun. I know quite a few people that work there and I enjoy catching up with them once in a while.
On Thursday, I was trying to keep close tabs to see if my doctors got all my lab results that were needed before my procedure. Her physician assistant was also keeping tabs and trying to put everything together. I decided that I would leave it in her hands and focus on getting ready for last night's party. With that, I did not have time to check my e-mails yesterday. I did a few moments ago to find that all my results were not sent to where they should have been. Today is Saturday and most offices are closed; therefore, there is not a whole lot, I can do.
I seriously do not know why I continue to support people that are not as emotionally supportive of me. I know this is my pattern. I do for others, and I know that tomorrow; my husband will still leave to go away on business. I am frustrated about it, but some of this is my fault. I tell myself that I am not going to do this anymore. I will not be as gracious and committed to another person because I am yet to meet another being that would willingly do the same for me. Even if, they wanted to, at this point, I need to protect myself. With that, I am cutting everyone else off, because I have seriously had enough. Right now even my father seem extraordinarily ungracious and unkind to me. If he were kind, why would he only allow someone that is just a friend to be the only person willing to avail herself to me at this time? I am totally baffled by his and my partner's indifference. Why is it that he promises only to come to me at a more favorable time? He has been more like a fair-weather friend to me than a true lover of me or my soul.
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