It's A Choice!
In my marriage patterns of behavior is repeated time and time again. It is as if we do not grow or improve. When I was pregnant with my last child, and placed on bed rest, my husband went off on a trip and left me home alone with our six children. That was an extraordinarily difficult period for me, with that even though it has been eleven years, as another similar action is repeated, I am reminded of all his offenses.
When I was five months pregnant, with that child, my older brother died. He was the one sibling that I was truly close to. I became highly distressed. I realized that meant that I was left without family support. As a result, I started to go into preterm labor. With that, my then doctor placed me on bed rest.
My husband had an annual recruiting trip back to his undergrad university. Instead of opting out of that trip, knowing that I did not have household help, he chose to go. Hence, despite my vulnerable situation he left me alone with six small children. Again, if it were not for friends that came by to pick up my children, I would have lost my son. That is the child that is like me.
Again as, I am scheduled for surgery, he is leaving on another business trip. It is true that this trip was scheduled before my surgery, and I explained to him why I cannot reschedule and possible difficulty I may face with rescheduling. I know, and I feel that this time that I am unhappy not only about the things that are happening now but because of his pattern of behavior. It would be seriously wrong to say that in the last few months, that he had not been supporting me, as far as my daughter, treatment is concerned. Initially when my daughters started acting out, I had an enormous amount of difficulty getting him to see her issues. It appeared as if he were more supportive of her behavior than my correcting her or being desirous of getting her help. He did not defend or back me up, and now he was not placing my wellbeing above his job. I seriously do not think there is a company that would fire him or anyone for choosing to be with their wife at a time like this.
Sometimes it is not easy for me to hurt other people in spite of them hurting me. Apart of me feels sorry for him but by accepting this, I am also emotionally abusing myself. There are a lot of things that I too do not understand. God knows my character, and he knows that if he does not intervene that as much as I desire to leave, I cannot willfully walk out on anyone. I do not want to be harsh to anyone, but they do not think twice when it comes to hurting me.
When I was five months pregnant, with that child, my older brother died. He was the one sibling that I was truly close to. I became highly distressed. I realized that meant that I was left without family support. As a result, I started to go into preterm labor. With that, my then doctor placed me on bed rest.
My husband had an annual recruiting trip back to his undergrad university. Instead of opting out of that trip, knowing that I did not have household help, he chose to go. Hence, despite my vulnerable situation he left me alone with six small children. Again, if it were not for friends that came by to pick up my children, I would have lost my son. That is the child that is like me.
Again as, I am scheduled for surgery, he is leaving on another business trip. It is true that this trip was scheduled before my surgery, and I explained to him why I cannot reschedule and possible difficulty I may face with rescheduling. I know, and I feel that this time that I am unhappy not only about the things that are happening now but because of his pattern of behavior. It would be seriously wrong to say that in the last few months, that he had not been supporting me, as far as my daughter, treatment is concerned. Initially when my daughters started acting out, I had an enormous amount of difficulty getting him to see her issues. It appeared as if he were more supportive of her behavior than my correcting her or being desirous of getting her help. He did not defend or back me up, and now he was not placing my wellbeing above his job. I seriously do not think there is a company that would fire him or anyone for choosing to be with their wife at a time like this.
Sometimes it is not easy for me to hurt other people in spite of them hurting me. Apart of me feels sorry for him but by accepting this, I am also emotionally abusing myself. There are a lot of things that I too do not understand. God knows my character, and he knows that if he does not intervene that as much as I desire to leave, I cannot willfully walk out on anyone. I do not want to be harsh to anyone, but they do not think twice when it comes to hurting me.
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