The Reason, I'm Conflicted!

I feel that I was the one who experience the drudgery of life.
That he maintained all the benefits, of what we literally are.
For it is with him that the Heavenly father does reside.
Although it is written, that the three of us are actually one.

With that, things that were written concerning me, I dispute.
Seem more figurative than actual truth or the reality of me.
Like my husband, that was in another country during my surgery,
He could claim that his spirit was with me, but was he actually there?

That is the current relationship God the father and son has with me.
The reason my current husband’s behavior and actions have infuriated me.
It is their continuous demonstration of lack of care why I became undone.
Am now unsure of what I will truly do concerning my future with anyone.

I now know all things pertaining to the rest of my mission, but I am torn.
Feel that because I was left alone during my surgery that I will not continue.
I have purposed not to do what is written because it is not for my benefit.
Neither do I, at this age need any of you, or anything that was promised me.

Sure, if The Father had at any moment, in my distress shown me that he cared,
I would not have become discouraged and would have truly been willing to do.
I pleaded with him in the last few months, yet all things remain unchanged.
Tell me, why should I care, sake for those I brought here, but even they will leave me.

The reason I am unsure and this truly confused me, and I cannot begin to comprehend.
How any creature could be this harsh to any being? This quite honestly is beyond me.
As much as I hurt and leaving would be best for me. I cannot truly inflict another that way.
If you had gotten to know me, you would know that I do not attack but defended my rights.

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