Will Never Work!
So as I have desired to do and become and did not, perhaps because my heavenly father did not want me to. I realized in the same manner, I will never have a workable relationship while I walk the face of the earth. For a while, I stood alone without genealogy, and without my true identity, and all those my father selected, rejected me. Perhaps apart of me knew they would have, and that could have been the reason I did not desire a partner. Even the one, who chose me, eventually rejected me. The one, that was related to me, and who I showed my real identity, thought me scary then, he also left me. I guess, I suppressed it for a time, but I now remember.
There is no point to living the way I have been living the last few months with a lot of resentment. It is not hurting any of these people but me. I am the one who is constantly upset by the rejection. I even chose children who would not have had any kind of future, and gave myself to them, and they, in turn, did the same thing to me.
In my first blog, I wrote of a man I deemed as unforgettable because I said, he waved at me when I had nothing going for me. Well by all outward appearance. What I did not say was that was all that he was ever prepared to do.
God does not force anyone to accept him, and he gave human free will to accept or reject him. I know that men outwardly profess to love God, but when put to the test they do not.
With the most excellent of reasons, I avoid and wish to not have anything else to do with human beings. The best thing I can do is accept that none of these loved me for me. They may claim that they do, but that is not the reality. If for a moment, I deceive myself, I would live a defeated life. It is better for me to accept this, and move on alone. Perhaps the father and others will continue to associate with them, but I am not they. I have seen and experienced enough. As is it is written in the word, the heart of all men is deceitful and desperately wicked. If God continues to chose men over me, then obviously we are no longer or might have never been on the same side.
For more of Ruth's poetry purchase, Fantasy/Controversy or My Reality.
There is no point to living the way I have been living the last few months with a lot of resentment. It is not hurting any of these people but me. I am the one who is constantly upset by the rejection. I even chose children who would not have had any kind of future, and gave myself to them, and they, in turn, did the same thing to me.
In my first blog, I wrote of a man I deemed as unforgettable because I said, he waved at me when I had nothing going for me. Well by all outward appearance. What I did not say was that was all that he was ever prepared to do.
God does not force anyone to accept him, and he gave human free will to accept or reject him. I know that men outwardly profess to love God, but when put to the test they do not.
With the most excellent of reasons, I avoid and wish to not have anything else to do with human beings. The best thing I can do is accept that none of these loved me for me. They may claim that they do, but that is not the reality. If for a moment, I deceive myself, I would live a defeated life. It is better for me to accept this, and move on alone. Perhaps the father and others will continue to associate with them, but I am not they. I have seen and experienced enough. As is it is written in the word, the heart of all men is deceitful and desperately wicked. If God continues to chose men over me, then obviously we are no longer or might have never been on the same side.
For more of Ruth's poetry purchase, Fantasy/Controversy or My Reality.
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