Reminder!
It has been almost nineteen years, and I had forgotten. Many years earlier, I met a young girl with a voice that I thought, parallel Whitney Houston's. As I introduced myself to her, I told her that if I ever got married, I wanted her to sing at my wedding. By the time I finally got married, the young woman had been attending Julliard in New York City. True to my word, I asked her to sing, the same, "I will always love you," that Whitney sang. I, however, rewrote some of the words because it was not my intention ever to say, goodbye to my husband. She sang the song with the adjustments, I made.
I do believe all gets married with thoughts of happily ever after. That there are few who would plan a premarital ending. Yesterday, I was thinking that anyone who has been married for a long time goes through trials. That the reason some marriages last fifty years is because those individuals willingly forgive each other. I would agree that, forgiving was best, but I wonder about the quality of those relationships. I know that in my nineteen years that I tolerated more than I am prepared to say. I put up with a lot, not for the sake of the relationship but for the benefit of my children. I know that I am not alone in doing that for as many marriages ends after lasting as long as mine for the same reasons.
Whether it is a marriage or a long term friendship, it is essential for people to convey to their partner exactly what they mean to them. People marry for many reasons, from companionship, to love, to convenience. For whatever reason the partnership was formed, we still all need to feel validated within the bounds of the union. I know on my part that was the break down in my marriage. I felt that my husband placed more importance on my children, his public services, his job and everything else. I told him, that he should have been investing his time in me. Instead, there are years of hurt.
The same is true for me, hence the disappointment, I invested more time in our children because he was never around and they became my most valued relationship. We should value what came first, which was the partnership. From the travesty of this marriage, I truly understand the importance of putting my spouse before my children. Yet, if I am devalued, I will hold unto what is most relevant to me. I am extremely upset about the state of my marriage. I hold to God's standard, and it was so crucial to me for things to be the way my father intended marriage to be. I worked tirelessly and dedicated my life to my family, only to feel disrespected by my husband and adopted children. It was so devastating that I lost myself in my writings. I close my heart and mind to the possibility of this ever working out. All I keep thinking is if I ever allow myself to be close to him again, I will be hurt once again. Ironically, I spent the entire nineteen years, I have been married, hiding behind my writings. How could a person that has lived through and experience what I have still have any confidence in men, or relationships?
Well I do, not because I trust men but because I believe my father. Also, I do believe that perfect love cast out fear and that there is better marriages and relationship out there. When we settle, we live a defeated life, but as women, we often sacrifice our life for our children, and I am that kind of woman.
I do believe all gets married with thoughts of happily ever after. That there are few who would plan a premarital ending. Yesterday, I was thinking that anyone who has been married for a long time goes through trials. That the reason some marriages last fifty years is because those individuals willingly forgive each other. I would agree that, forgiving was best, but I wonder about the quality of those relationships. I know that in my nineteen years that I tolerated more than I am prepared to say. I put up with a lot, not for the sake of the relationship but for the benefit of my children. I know that I am not alone in doing that for as many marriages ends after lasting as long as mine for the same reasons.
Whether it is a marriage or a long term friendship, it is essential for people to convey to their partner exactly what they mean to them. People marry for many reasons, from companionship, to love, to convenience. For whatever reason the partnership was formed, we still all need to feel validated within the bounds of the union. I know on my part that was the break down in my marriage. I felt that my husband placed more importance on my children, his public services, his job and everything else. I told him, that he should have been investing his time in me. Instead, there are years of hurt.
The same is true for me, hence the disappointment, I invested more time in our children because he was never around and they became my most valued relationship. We should value what came first, which was the partnership. From the travesty of this marriage, I truly understand the importance of putting my spouse before my children. Yet, if I am devalued, I will hold unto what is most relevant to me. I am extremely upset about the state of my marriage. I hold to God's standard, and it was so crucial to me for things to be the way my father intended marriage to be. I worked tirelessly and dedicated my life to my family, only to feel disrespected by my husband and adopted children. It was so devastating that I lost myself in my writings. I close my heart and mind to the possibility of this ever working out. All I keep thinking is if I ever allow myself to be close to him again, I will be hurt once again. Ironically, I spent the entire nineteen years, I have been married, hiding behind my writings. How could a person that has lived through and experience what I have still have any confidence in men, or relationships?
Well I do, not because I trust men but because I believe my father. Also, I do believe that perfect love cast out fear and that there is better marriages and relationship out there. When we settle, we live a defeated life, but as women, we often sacrifice our life for our children, and I am that kind of woman.
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