Who I now am!
I have actually tired to be true to the one who brought me here. The reality is that he has failed me profoundly. I have been hurt in ways I will never forget or disregard or seek compromise. I come from a people who knows me not and is seen as belonging to a people of whom I am not actually apart of.
For most of my years, I did what I was capable of on my own but now I can no longer do that. It takes quite a bit to get to where I am. This is more than being left alone in breast surgery. As it is, I think that my writings could be viewed as just that of another angry black woman. Again it goes way beyond that. I thought I had a partner who loved me, but it turned out he never did, and chose to marry a white woman, as opposed to me. I have a husband who chooses to side with every person but never to stand by me or defend me. Why did I foolishly expect that anyone else would help?
People who I thought genuinely loved me, with time it has been proven, that is not truly so. So now I am where I am.
On Thursday, I am going to try the last decent thing to see if I will get help. After that, I will seek the help of an African American activist. I would not under normal circumstances join with those, but I am left with no other choice. This is the way I am currently seen and these are who will embrace me based on my outward appearance. Whatever my mission was, it is finished. I am no longer staying faithful to the one who was never faithful to me.
Wednesday marks the end of many things for me, including my writing contract. I deliberately did not renew that because it symbolizes yet another way by which my heavenly father failed me. I may have to stay in my husband home, but I will not ever accept anyone treating me as if I am lesser of a person.
I felt within my heart that I would never do this, but one should ever say never. If I am delusional and crazy then perhaps it is insanity that drove me to this and not the reality of any of this.
For more of Ruth's poetry purchase, Fantasy/Controversy or My Reality.
For most of my years, I did what I was capable of on my own but now I can no longer do that. It takes quite a bit to get to where I am. This is more than being left alone in breast surgery. As it is, I think that my writings could be viewed as just that of another angry black woman. Again it goes way beyond that. I thought I had a partner who loved me, but it turned out he never did, and chose to marry a white woman, as opposed to me. I have a husband who chooses to side with every person but never to stand by me or defend me. Why did I foolishly expect that anyone else would help?
People who I thought genuinely loved me, with time it has been proven, that is not truly so. So now I am where I am.
On Thursday, I am going to try the last decent thing to see if I will get help. After that, I will seek the help of an African American activist. I would not under normal circumstances join with those, but I am left with no other choice. This is the way I am currently seen and these are who will embrace me based on my outward appearance. Whatever my mission was, it is finished. I am no longer staying faithful to the one who was never faithful to me.
Wednesday marks the end of many things for me, including my writing contract. I deliberately did not renew that because it symbolizes yet another way by which my heavenly father failed me. I may have to stay in my husband home, but I will not ever accept anyone treating me as if I am lesser of a person.
I felt within my heart that I would never do this, but one should ever say never. If I am delusional and crazy then perhaps it is insanity that drove me to this and not the reality of any of this.
For more of Ruth's poetry purchase, Fantasy/Controversy or My Reality.
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