Now as it has always been!

I knew you not as family, yet that was the relationship.
The attraction between us, as I passionately watched you.
It was in that way I cared, glad I did not say anything.
For your knowing that might have changed history.
Made an enormous difference in your relationship with me.
Would have undone my Father’s intentions, as you his chosen one.
Might have changed my life, not have accomplished my purpose.
It was painful and still is. Did not come here for any one human.
But like every young woman, I welcomed the fantasy attraction.
One that most women dream of, love and affection the perfect man.
Of one who chose deliberately to look after me, momentarily,
You did, then to my dismay you chose another and turned away.
What did it matter if you were a relative, for now you do know?
That was not the kind of love I had for you, and being family does not change that.
I only act, say or do, no matter how I am affected, according to my mission.
I get no validation, words of comfort, relief, so as I have always provided
The little that I needed, I still do. I give to myself, the words, I need to hear from you.

For more of Ruth's poetry purchase, Fantasy/Controversy or My Reality.